Yet another exciting session of D&D! We had a new player join, and one character’s backstory is finally revealed! (Special thanks to Sam, who took notes for me while I was away at Easter Mass!)
Note: This session is mainly battle heavy, although plot and story is involved. This session is also designed for players to drop in and out depending on their schedule, so while everyone is in the same party, characters may not be active during certain sessions.
- Ciaran (LVL4) and Basile (LVL6)
- Marven (LVL5)
- H’rathen (LVL5)
- Rheagar (LVL5)
- Neebs (LVL 5)
- Dwayne (LVL5)
- Alkaid (Lvl 4)
- Kass (Lvl 4) – the small, pan-flute playing Raptoran Bard.
After revealing Basile’s identity, Kass finally caught up with the group, and Lorn returned to Dwarvenshire to help Stormaggedon with his stable and doing research on stuff. (Or, in an alternative timeline, Lorn pulled a book off the shelf and it Scooby Doo-ed him behind the bookshelf, revealing Kass as a new player.)
The party returns into the mining room, where Dwayne casts a spell to make an illusion of a rhino in memory of Rocky. Everyone except Rheagar can tell it’s an illusion.
H’rathen talks with the ghost miner and tells him that he has spoken with his employer and was told that he can take as long as he needs for his break. With the miner free, he disappears through the wall.
Marven walks up to the stone door at the front of the room and tries to kick it down, and instead ends up kicking himself backwards onto the floor. Dwayne uses the spell “knock” to open the door with ease. On the other side of the door is a prison, with a dozen starved and beaten prisoners locked in cages. Several look like they have lost all hope, and one is very ill.
H’rathen asks one of the alert prisoners, a man named Steve, if they are criminals. Steve replies that they are all villagers and farmers that were kidnapped by the “red men” who beat them daily and leave them here. He had only been there for a day or two, while the very ill man – named Perry – has been there the longest. When H’rathen goes to ask Perry how he is doing, he vomits violently. He and Alkaid heal him and Steve of their illness, while Rheagar opens the cages with his sledgehammer. Marven goes up to the door leading to the next room and can hear slapping and screaming on the other side.
Knowing that the slaads are the ones hurting the villagers, Marven burns down the door and the party prepares to attack – and Marven is hit with a trap that caused a spike to fall and land on him.
- Two blue slaads are beating on a group of hobgoblins who are chained up to the wall. Kass tells the group that blue slaads beat the crap out of their victims until they suddenly turn into red slaads – who then beat up other victims and inject eggs into them until blue slaads emerge.
- Rheagar bursts in and shoots his crossbow at the first blue slaad (aka Blue Bitch.) Basile flanks him and blasts eldritch energy at Blue Bitch as well.
- Meanwhile Neebs shoots an electric arrow at the second blue slaad (aka Wizard.) Marven follows up with a blast of entangling fire, and Dwayne uses magic missile with his Starry Night Gloves to create a shooting star to attack.
- Blue Bitch swings at Basile and Rheagar, nearly missing Basile – who ducked just in time. Wizard ignores his attacks and instead force feeds a potion to one of the hobgoblins, who then splits apart and turns into a red slaad (aka Hob-Slaad.)
- H’rathen commands the group of kill the hobgoblins first to avoid more slaads being created. Alkaid shoots two arrows into a hobgoblin and kills it. He is followed up by Kass, who plays his pan-flute and inspires courage into the group.
- Neebs shoots a ray of enfeeblement through his arrow at Hob-Slaad and dimension hops him backwards a few feet. Marven spits out entangling acid, his fire causing little to no damage. The acid doesn’t seem to do much either.
- Ciaran ducks around everyone to finally shoot an arrow into a hobgoblin and kills it. Basile, still off balance, misses an attack on Blue Bitch.
- Dwayne casts Shadow Binding between Hob-Slaad and Wizard, but only the Hob-Slaad is entangled in the shadows.
- This allows Wizard to turn the final living hobgoblin into a second red slaad (Hob-Slaad 2: Slaad’s Revenge,) which immediately roars and summons a third red slaad (aka Motherfucking Slaads in the Motherfucking Dungeon.)
- Now, there are two blue slaads, and three red slaads in the cramped room. Are you confused yet? We are, too.
- Slaad’s Revenge charges and hits Marven hard, bringing him down to half health. Blue Bitch turns on Rheagar and attacks. He is only able to dodge one of five attacks, but thankfully isn’t turned into a slaad.
- H’rathen paralyzes Blue Bitch with a spell, and commands that everyone back into the prison.
- Alkaid shoots Hob-Slaad with his arrows, while Kass casts Tasha’s Hideous Laughter on Motherfucker and says “What do you call a bunny that likes puns? A PUNNY.” It begins to laugh uncontrollably.
- Rheagar backs up and flees into the prison, while Neebs shoots an arrow into Hob-Slaad’s side – which happens to be where his heart is located (who knew?)
- Copying Neebs, Basile rips the heart out of Blue Bitch, and then promptly nopes out of the room and into the prison.
- Wizard trips H’rathen telekinetically and makes him prone. H’rathen gets up, is hit again, but manages to slip away to heal Marven before backing out of the room.
- Alkaid rapid shoots at Slaad’s Revenge with Kass backing him up with blow darts from his pan-flute.
- Neebs shoots at Wizard with his arrow as Marven entangles him, making him unable to move.
- Ciaran shoots an arrow off the ceiling, which bounces mystically up into the butthole of the Slaad’s Revenge and it dies.
- Basile and Dwayne attack Motherfucker, who only laughs harder. He must be ticklish.
- Wizard casts Chaos Hammer, a multi-color energy attack, at everyone. Alkaid fires back with two shots: one goes into Wizard’s head and the other into his side-heart. Rheagar follows up by slashing its head in half.
- With only Motherfucker left, the group slay him with ease.
With the slaads defeated, Marven searches the room and finds vials of potions and gold while Basile goes back to the library to steal more books.
H’rathen then examines them for infection. To do so, he must cut them open and look for eggs. Marven doesn’t want to do so, so Dwayne casts Ghost Sound on his stomach and makes it say “aah, I’m a slaad.” Marven promptly freaks out, calls out for Lorn and oatmeal, and rips off his shift to reveal black scales. H’rathen cuts him open and finds nothing, but tells Marven to keep eating until the “eggs pop out.” He then checks on Rheagar, and finds slaad eggs inside of him – oh shit.
After stitching him back up, H’rathen and Dwayne stay with the prisoners while the rest move into the next room to see if they can find a portal for a quick trip back to town. Ciaran opens the door to the next room.
- Inside is a portal, as well as a desk with battle plans and blueprints. They are able to assume that the slaads have taken over the mountain and were rounding up the goblins to be their warriors to attack Dwarvenshire.
- Ciaran tries to open the locked drawer on the side of the desk, but fails and springs a trap. The floor opens below him and he starts to fall into a pit of spikes. Marven and Basile fly down and catch him right before he hits the ground – much to Ciaran’s relief.
- Neebs then says he had found a key earlier and unlocks the drawer with ease, to which Basile yells at him for risking Ciaran’s life.
- Inside the drawer are all of the orbs for the portals, allowing them to travel to all floors of Goblin’s Peak.
With the blue orb, they round up all of the prisoners and take them through the well up into the city. As they climb up, they realize it’s midday.
Dwayne casts Obscuring Mist to cover them, but the group is greeted by a mob of warriors surrounding the well. One magic caster blows away the mist with wind, to which Dwayne summons more fog, which is blown away again. While Marven explains to the crowd why they came from the well, Dwayne gives one of the villagers – a man named Seabright Bentham who was traveling with Delvin – some gold to stay in town until Delvin returned with his caravan.
H’rathen and Rheagar go to the Fang Reserve to sell the beholder-kin eye stalks and the bullette head. There, they learn that soon they will be able to register to join the Fang Reserve, as they have made it past the second floor of Goblin’s Peak. They then go to see Xi-Long to purchase spells and armor.
- Rheagar suggests that they keep the map to find the Zephyr Blade and then sell it to Xi-Long after they retrieved the weapon. When they arrive at his cart, they see that Xi-Long is in a wheelchair and has lost his leg and Rheagar regrets making that suggestion. They ask what happened, to which Xi-Long says he is working on a solution and brushes it off. They purchase new weapons and spells before moving on to the Fang Reserve to sell their more rare items.
- When they finish, Basile comes to speak with Xi-Long, who gives him information about an immortality spell that he has been looking for. Basile is distraught after realizing that it would take years to complete. Still, he pays Xi-Long for his services and requests that he keep him in mind if he finds anything new. He also apologizes for being the cause for Xi-Long losing his leg, but again Xi-Long tells him not to worry.
Meanwhile, Dwayne goes off to cook at the Three Shepherds with Marven following behind. Kass plays music in town for the kids and becomes a small celebrity.
Neebs, Alkaid, and Ciaran go to check on the fanclub, which has upgraded since they were last there. A bake sale is being held to raise money for the fanclub, and people are cosplaying as Neebs. Alkaid buys a pastry.
The entire group meets up once more at the Three Shepherds, where a huge party is being thrown for the return of Maxim, Caelim’s brother who had disappeared. They recognize Maxim as one of the prisoners. There, they tell the story of what was located on the higher floors of Golbin Peak. One bar patron doesn’t believe them, so H’rathen cut open Rheagar’s stomach to show the eggs, much to everyone’s disapproval.
Later in the night, a wrestling match is held:
- Rheagar decides to jump in, and defeats his first opponent. He shouts “smell my eggs!” to display his dominance.
- Dwayne then challenges Rheagar to a wrestling match, but is defeated by Rheagar.
- Neebs joins in on the fun and bluffs to say that he wins despite not laying a hand on him. Rheagar ends up believing it, and Neebs wins – all the ladies swoon.
- Then, from out of the shadows, a man named Roger Lord Mortimer challenges Rheagar (and everyone loses their shit at the table because Mortimer must die in all time-lines and sessions.) Everyone attempts to help Rheagar win, with H’rathen basting bull-rush and Basile offhandedly casting Darkness around them. However, Mortimer annihilates Rheagar (who rolled a Nat 1 against Mortimer’s Nat 20.)
- H’rathen then challenges Mortimer (in the name of camelfax) and defeats him. Instead of killing him – like he should – H’rathen befriends Mortimer.
At that time, everyone realizes that Marven isn’t in the tavern and is nowhere to be found. After H’rathen heals everyone, they go out to find Marven and find him heading back from…well, we never did find out.
Over the course of the week, H’rathen heals all of the prisoners, as well as Rheagar and himself. Delvin’s caravan returns to town, but Delvin isn’t with it.
- The group learns that Delvin was murdered by one of the caravan workers named Krissa. She disappeared immediately afterward. H’rathen tries to cast divination to find where Krissa is now, but receives no answer.
- Marven then reveals that he is a descendant of the Black Dragon Pendralar, and that Krissa is his sister. She is able to shift her appearance and is hunting him down to bring him back home. Marven warns that while she wouldn’t hurt him, she will kill anyone who tries to get between them. He desperately needs to leave, but has grown to love Dwarvenshire and his new friends. The group promise to help Marven and stop Krissa from finding him.
Neebs suggests finding the Zephyr Blade to defeat Krissa, as well as the final floor of Goblin’s Peak (much to the DM’s dismay, as he hasn’t prepared anything about the Zephyr Blade yet) but the party decides to finish one thing first before moving onto the other.
H’rathen purchases a Pearl of Power to cast another divination spell to see if Krissa will be attacking within the next week. With the answer, no, they figure they have time to defeat the slaads in Goblin’s Peak before having to worry about her arrival.
With that, the group heads back to Goblin’s Peak to finish their original quest. They use the purple orb to travel to the fifth floor. There, they arrive in a room with two red slaads chasing after creatures identified as Caterprisms.
- H’rathen casts Sonic Burst in the pool of water in the center of the room, but is only able to hurt one of the slaads.
- A caterprism attacks the slaad chasing it, while the second bites H’rathen and punctures through his armor with its pincers.
- Kass casts his inspiration spell to empower everyone, just as Marven uses his entangling acid to slow down the slaads and caterprisms.
- Basile and Ciaran team up to attack the caterprism that is focused on fighting the slaad.
- Alkaid aims at the wounded slaad and hits it in the heel, killing it instantly.
- Dwayne unleashes Sentinels from the Dead (aka ghost warriors) to fight the slaad that was fighting with the caterprism.
- The slaad charges past the ghosts and bites H’rathen, who slams his fist into its face and casts Light Wounds in return.
- Neebs shoots at the slaad with an arrow cast with Chill Touch and watches it disintegrate into thin air.
- With the caterprisms left, they attack Marven, H’rathen, Rheagar, and Dwayne with a shot of crystal webbing that impales them.
- Rheagar swings and misses, then swings again and shoves his flaming sword into the mouth of the caterprism, burning it from the inside.
- Alkaid fires one final arrow into the remaining caterprism and destroys it, shattering it into pieces.
- Ciaran (LVL5) and Basile (LVL7)
- Marven (LVL7)
- H’rathen (LVL7)
- Rheagar (LVL7)
- Neebs (LVL 7)
- Alkaid (Lvl 5)
- Kass (Lvl 5)
(Dwayne was not with the party, as he had a Title Match that he needed to kick ass at.)
After clearing the room of debris from the battle with the slaads and caterprisms, Ciaran checks the the door at the end of the room for any traps or locks, while Marven and Basile sense a creature in the next room.
With the door locked and no way to open it, Rheagar tries to break down the door with a hammer. Marven assists, but only bounces off. Neebs suggests using his Dimension Hop to teleport someone to the other side of the door to unlock it from inside. Basile offers, as he is invisible and won’t be detected by whoever is inside.
Standing in front of Neebs, he is shot in the side and teleported into the next room. Inside, he sees a dining hall with a half-eaten meal, and a goblin trying to open the door. He opens the door and allows the team to come inside.
The goblin is wearing a head dress and holding a massive club two sizes too large. Grunk recognizes him as Agnark, is the Goblin King of the Wolf Tribe. Agnark tells the party that the slaads are taking over the mountain.
The team is conflicted on whether to help him, or kill him. To help (?) convince the team to assist Agnark, Lorn casts prestidigitation to create a flashing sign over H’rathen that says “EVIL,” and a sign over Agnark that says “GOOD.” Basile offers to help the goblin king and then kill him.
Everyone agrees to help Agnark, because it’s the “right thing” to do. They all assist with opening the iron door. However, Neebs pushes the door and it easily swings open. However, a unmovable rod is in the way, forcing everyone to duck underneath (even Rocky.)
Inside the room are two red slaads and two blue slaads, as well as a strange magic circle.
- Rheagar charges in and activates his blur armor before attacking the first blue slaad Alkaid shoots it from the doorway as well. Meanwhile, Marven spits entangling fire at them, but is only able to slow down one of the red slaads (now known as Slow Ride.)
- Pissed, the first blue slaad thrusts out his hand and slams the door shut (he is now know as Hodor.) With only Rheagar in the room, he is trapped with the rest of the team locked out. The second blue slaad (known as Eiffel 65) swipes down at Rheagar, but the fighter is able to block it with his sword and counter.
- Outside, Neebs turns around and starts to eat the food on the table – cause he knows he’s worthless for now.
- Lorn swiftly casts Rhino Rush on Rocky as he gets low to charge at the doorway. Rocky lands an impossible critical hit (204 damage) and smashes into the door and in the nearby wall. The door flings forward and smacks directly into Rheagar. Lorn quickly heals him and apologizes.
- H’rathen moves into the room to try and heal Rheagar further, but is smacked by Slow Ride. Regardless, he casts a spell to shield Rheagar and absorb half damage: “I must keep the lawnmower of a face that is Rheagar alive.”
- Basile attempts to attack but misses, however Ciaran is able to shoot an arrow into the Eiffel 65. The boy also casts Protection Devotion on the group, and Alkaid is visibly distraught at the infernal protection around them all.
- The second red slaad (named Red Rocket) summons a third red slaad (now known as ???? – I’m running out of nicknames) and they all attack H’rathen. Although most miss, one cuts the cleric across the throat, but doesn’t kill him.
- Cass casts Inspirational Courage on everyone while Rheagar eats his berries to heal.
- Alkaid shoots his arrows into the room to attack Eiffel 65. Marven blasts for entangling fire at all of the red slaads.
- The blue slaads attack Rheagar, who blocks and counters. He crits and cuts the hand off Hodor before slicing through its throat and killing it. However, Eiffel 65 manages to hit him. H’rathen takes half the damage and is knocked unconscious.
- Neebs finally returns and shoots a chilled touch arrow through ????, killing it. He does this while eating a chicken leg.
- Rocky, finally in the room, steps up to attack Eiffel 65, but is smacked in the face. Lorn shoots magic missile at all of the remaining slaads.
- Basile rushes into the room and drags H’rathen out of the fray, again, and is startled with Kass casts Beastland Ferocity on H’rathen to bring him back to conscious (quite violently I may add.) Meanwhile, Ciaran is able to hit Slow Ride with an arrow like a good boy.
- The remaining red slaads attack Rocky and croak loudly to stun the party. However, Nergal is the only one affected.
- Rheagar attacks Slow Ride and stabs it through the stomach to skewer its organs. Alkaid shoots two arrows at Eiffel 65, stabbing each eye and killing it.
- Marven breaths sickening breath on Red Rocket, and is followed up by Neebs shooting another arrow of chilling touch.
- Rocky “attacks” and lazily sticks its horn into Red Rocket’s side to kill it in it’s side-heart. He’s sad because he couldn’t charge.
With all of the slaads defeated, Marven is able to determine the magic command to remove the unmovable rod. He shouts “snorkle” and puts it into his bag.
Agnark moves to the caster circle to “cleanse” the room, but instead summons a green slaad. Then he turns into a green slaad as well. Basile and Kass identify that they are shape shifters that like to gain trust from their prey.
- The summoned Green Slaad (Vegan) points out at the party and blasts a fireball at them. Everyone is hit, except Nergal and Ciaran, who flippity-flop out of the way and make a pose to each other while mid-air. Agnark then reads a scroll to cast Dominate Monster to control Rocky and make him turn on the party.
- Rocky attacks Rheagar, but he is able to block the attack.
- Neebs shoots arrows enchanted with Kelgore’s FireBolt at Vegan.
- Kass also casts Tash’a Hideous Laughter, saying “Where does the girl go when a bomb goes off? Everywhere.” Vegan wasn’t amused.
- Marven breaths sickening fire on the slaads while Alkaid fires an arrow at Vegan.
- Lorn casts Dispel Magic on himself to dispel the domination over Rocky. It fails.
- Ciaran stumbles out of the room and nearly drops his bow as Basile runs up to Agnark and rakes his Eldritch Claws against him.
- H’rathen casts Sonic Burst on Rocky to try and stun him, but it fails. He then chugs a Cure Wounds potion.
- Agnark begins to cast a spell, but Basile smacks him to prevent him from finishing. Meanwhile, Vegan casts Deeper Darkness on the entire room, making it impossible for anyone to see.
- Neebs and Alkaid shoot blindly in the dark and are able to hit one of the slaads. Kass tries to do the same, but doesn’t seem to hit anything with his blow-dart.
- Marven blows a sickening blast of fire in the slaads general direction, but not even his fire lights up the darkness.
- Lorn reads a scroll to cast Magic Circle Against Chaos to free Rocky from his domination. (How he does this in the dark is a mystery). Rocky then thrashes and attacks the closest slaad near him. Nergal uses scent to find the largest group of people as well.
- Ciaran attempts to shoot into the fray, and hits Lorn with his arrow. Meanwhile, Basile uses his Mind Sense to find Agnark and kill him.
With the slaads defeated, the darkness lifted. When searching the room, Ciaran and Lorn find a secret door and H’rathen opens it. They find the true King of the Goblins bound and gagged inside.
Lorn talks with him and the King offers the party a “get out of goblin free” pass as thank you for clearing out the slaads and saving him. Meanwhile H’rathen enlarges and takes the giant club, claiming that he is the Goblin King as he has the biggest stick. Lorn tries to get the King to join the Neebs Fanclub, but he just starts to bitch about everything. Basile covers his mouth to shut him up.
Peeved, Neebs kills the King and gives Grunk the club and crown, making him the new King of the Wolf Tribe. Grunk leaves to tend to his people. But first, Lorn casts Ray of Enfeeblement to make Grunk drop the club, saying Kord doesn’t find Grunk worthy. Basile helps Grunk lift it as H’rathen and Neebs argue with Lorn.
Marven leaves to eat the food in the dining hall.
As everyone argues, Basile and Ciaran go into the next room and find a massive portal that leads to another plane of existence. Basile absolutely doesn’t want to go inside, but Ciaran wants to explore. Lorn and H’rathen go inside, and as the portal starts to close the rest of the part goes inside (except Basile and Ciaran, much to Ciaran’s displeasure.)
Inside the portal, the second group lands in a silvery ocean. In the distance they see an island, as well as a Neebs and Lorn flying away on Rocky, who has duck wings.
After everyone regroups, they are attacked by four Astral Sharks.
- Neebs swims and shoots one of the sharks while Lorn uses magic missile. Rocky rushes another shark and kills it immediately.
- One of the sharks attacks H’rathen and Cass, but is only able to take a bite at the cleric. Alkaid is attacked but strikes back, injuring her attacker with one arrow before drinking a health potion.
- Rheagar slashes his sword at a nearby shark from atop of Rocky, but misses his second strike. Meanwhile, Marven vomits acid on the shark Rheagar attacked and kills it.
- Kass fires an arrow with his shortbow and misses, while H’rathen uses Scorching Light to kill the shark Alkaid had attacked.
- Neebs then attempts to ride one of the remaining sharks, and somehow manages to miss every shot as it tries to buck him off.
- Rocky charges at another shark, slashing through it as it jumps up. Lorn hits another with his magic missiles.
- The final shark jumps away, knocking Neebs off its back as it flees.
The group then continue toward the island and see a large ship docked. They also see a portal and a single palm tree on the shore. As they approach the boat, a cannon is fired at them. The cannon ball his rocky and his passengers, Alkaid, Rheagar, and H’rathen. The group charges onto to the ship. It is covered by Githyanki, astral pirates.
- Neebs shouts “Get off my ship!” and kills a pirate quickly with an arrow, exploding its head.
- Kass plays MmmBop and fires an arrow at one of the pirates.
- Rocky flys onto the ship and lands in the ship’s lookout, cracking the crows nest. Nergal gets a potion from the haversack and heals H’rathen. Meanwhile, Lorn produces a flame and melts a pirate’s face clean off.
- Rheagar swings down from the mast, screaming as he swings and sword and misses. A shark spontaneously appears to attack and narrowly misses him.
- Marven breathes fire on the crew, torching the ship and killing six pirates!
- H’rathen grabs a rope and jumps towards the remaining pirate. However, the rope wasn’t attached to anything and as he impales the pirate with his spear he slams into the deck and dies immediately.
The group finds a treasure room filled with gems and gold. Neebs also finds a map and a Resurrection Spell Scroll. He then fakes a revival and brings H’rathen back to life. They then shrink the boat to take it home with them.
Then, a Planetar named Solomon appears before them. As an associate to Kord, he commands H’rathen to return home to establish a church in Kord’s name. Neebs, however, starts to get mouthy and talk back, claiming that he was the one who brought H’rathen back to life. Solomon gets frustrated and turns Neebs into a sheep.
This angers Lorn, who begins to argue with the Planetar, and starts an argument about faith between Neebs, H’rathen, and Rheagar. Eventually, the group returns through the portal to meet with Basile and Ciaran in Goblin’s Peak.
H’rathen uses divination to try and learn where Grunk has gone to find the goblin tribes. They learn that the Tribe of the Wolf is located in a swamp.
The group returns to Dwarvenshire after discovering that all of the orbs have become clear. Marven makes a comment on how he shouldn’t have mixed food in their haversack. They use prestidigitation to turn one of the orbs blue to return to the well.
Lorn uses Cast Major Image to make an illusion that we weren’t climbing out of the well in the middle of the day. The team then splits up to do whatever they want in the expanding town. As H’rathen departs, Basile tells him to be careful when establishing his church for the public.
- Marven visits with Xi-Long to convert his gems into gold and to talk more about the Ebbonfire. Xi-Long warns that while he doesn’t know much about the Ebbonfire, he does know that they’re not to be easily trusted.
- Neebs and Lorn speak with Duarph to discuss purchasing another plot of land near “the hair-line” of town to place the “Church of Neebs” aka the ship they stole. They then go to Xi-Long to buy and sell their items.
- Ciaran and Basile go to the blacksmith to purchase a sheet of lead (as Basile learned that he should carry on one him as extra protection to creatures like Solomon.) Ciaran explains to the shop keepers that he is an orphan living in the stables, and he needs the sheet of lead so he can whittle toys for himself and to sell for food. The couple is so distraught they try hard to make him stay, while Basile steals a sheet of lead and some gold as well. Basile also stops in briefly to speak with Xi-Long regarding a person who will be able to assist him with immortality.
- Kass is approached by “Dude,” the southern surfer (who rode the killer waves of Katrina) and is offered a job playing music at The Phoenix.
- Alkaid goes to the forest to find a companion. There, he saves a raven from being attacked by an owl and punches the owl in the face, feeds a pack of wild dogs, and heals the wounded paw of a cougar. The cougar likes him enough to follow him as a companion.
- Rheagar is at the Three Shepherds, and sees that it’s empty except for a few patrons and a new bartender. He is told that Caelim and his brother have taken a vacation, and asks about Rheagar’s scar. The warrior brags and drinks his beer, but it’s laced with poison. Rheagar quickly learns that everyone in the tavern is there to collect a bounty on him. He battles them all singlehandedly, with some help from Marven when he comes in confused. They later find Caelim and Maxim in the closet.
As people return to the tavern, the party regroups and meet a gambling man named Regis. He offers Ciaran a job and gives him a cup of “fruit punch” (alcohol) and pays him a gem for his pick locking skills.
Then, three dragon-born men come in. The first is a green dragon wearing armor named Americk. He is a paladin of Pelor. The second is a silver dragon barbarian wearing fur armor named Legick. The third is a copper dragon wearing a cloak named Toxil, who is the trio’s sorcerer.
They speak with the party about their adventures, and are in awe at the stories that they are told. Neebs blatantly steals Marven’s backstory to build himself up. He makes the comment, “We’re all elves here.” To which the dragon-born brothers reply, “Not us.” Neebs asks, “You sure?” and with that they sell the brothers goblin ears to make them think they are now elves.
Outside, they all hear a loud crash and go to investigate. The front gates to Dwarvenshire have a huge hole smashed out with a pillar sticking through. The group learns that there is a giant woman with a way stone and a short bald man at the door. They offer to repair the damages and request for a place to stay. They introduce themselves as Ellerd, a cleric of Avandra, and Torg, his companion. Neebs tries to make a pass at Torg, but is shot down. Ellerd immediately dislikes Neebs, even after showing off his church and debating Kord vs. Avandra.
The next morning, Neebs wakes up screaming from a vision he had in his sleep, and stands before all of Dwarvenshire prophesying of treasure that will bring prosperity to the town. Kass plays the song of heart to help the crowd to bring people together in agreement. Neebs shows a map that he “draws” out and shows the location of the treasure and the Zephyr Blade.
While Lorn stays back to heal Rocky’s broken foot, the rest of the group leave to find the Zephyr Blade. They purchase horses from Stormageddon, much to Ciaran’s excitement. He states that he asked Basile for a pony on his 7th birthday but didn’t get one. So he punched himself in the face to punish Basile. He names his pony Debbie.
They face no encounters as they travel to the Deep Lake where they find an altar with rotting food. Neebs clears it out and puts in fresh fruits, and then calls out for the Lady of the Lake.
She appears and claims that “Gaydar” is the chosen one. She gives Rheagar a tiny dagger that breaks almost immediately. She then tells him that he must defeat his greatest enemy: himself. Rheagar draws first blood and wins. She then gives him the “real” Zephyr Blade: a half-eaten twinkie.
She then claims that “Starvin” is the chosen one, and gives Marven a rabbit. She claims that he must chop down a tree with the rabbit. He let’s it get away.
“Kylo Ren” is then called forward as the chosen one. Ciaran steps forward and is given a candle. He shows it off to Basile, and says he should get a zephyr something. The Lady calls for “Tomato Basil” to come forward but gives him nothing.
The Lady of the Lake then explains that to retrieve the real Zephyr Blade, they will have to complete three tasks. The first is to leave a man in the clearing to the south. She then pulls up a man from the water and hands him to the party.
They take him to the clearing and lay him in front of the massive tree in the center. As they turn to leave, the tree drops zombie-like figures from its vines and they begin to drag the man up. Kass identifies the Gallows Tree, and Neebs cuts through the vine holding the man with an arrow. He drops to the ground.
- Rheagar rushes up to attack the zombie and chops it in half. Alkaid fires an arrow at another zombie. Neebs also attacks again to dimension hop a zombie away from the man. Kass inspires courage into everyone with music.
- However, the tree begins to heal and the zombies stitch back together to attack once more. The tree itself uproots itself and starts to move toward them. With its branches, it hits Rheagar six times, two of them critical hits, and leaves him close to death. Neebs is also attacked as the man he tried to save is hanged and infected with pollen.
- Marven spits entangling acid onto the tree to char it and slow it down.
- Basile rushes forward to grab Rayar and start dragging him away, however he is hit by the tree branches. Ciaran fires an arrow and skewers a zombie, shouting “Wesley!” (As it’s the name of his bow.)
- Alkaid follows suit and skewers another zombie into the one Ciaran killed. Neebs shoots into the a crack in the tree and shocks it, cracking it open. Kass shoots an arrow but snaps himself in the hand with his bow.
- The Gallows Tree reaches out to attack Neebs, who is flying around to avoid being hit. Meanwhile, two of the zombies reach out to rip Rheagar out of Basile’s hands. Finally, it sprays a gas at Ciaran who, like a smart boy, holds his breath like Basile has taught him and isn’t infected.
- Marven breaths more acid onto the tree and melts two zombies completely.
- Ciaran backs up and shoots one of the zombies in the face, while Basile kills the zombie dragging Rheagar away, then severs the vine controlling it. It withers away and dies. He then feeds Rheagar berries.
- Alkaid slices through the vines with his arrow and then hits the tree. Neebs flies up higher to shoot an acid arrow, crying “For Neebs!” The arrow slips through the cracks and ricochets inside to attack the core and destroy the tree.
Basile gives Rheagar a potion to bring him back to consciousness while the rest search the inside of the tree. There, they find corpses and a sack of gold that was too heavy to carry. They bring up as much as they can and return to the Lady of the Lake.
There, she gives them their second and third task: to plant a sapling in the center of Dwarvenshire, and to bring back ten men from Dwarvenshire. The party is immediately wary, as she tricked them to sacrifice a man to a man-eating tree. Kass identifies the sapling as a Mottle Grasp’s
Orchard Orchid, and they take it to Dwarvenshire and speak to Xi-Long (who now has a mechanical leg.) He tells them that it is a very rare tree that produces a variety of fruit that will heal and give strength to those who eat it.
Neebs finds an herbalist in town named Ashisa, a serpent woman that Marven had run into earlier while roaming the new areas of town. Basile knows that she’s half Yuan-Tii and may not be one to trust, but doesn’t speak up. They ask her to help them care for the tree, and after Neebs charms her, she agrees. However, they need Duarph’s permission to plant a tree in the center of town.
They find Duarph at The Last Call. Marven orders a disgusting amount of salted pork, and it is the best salted pork he has ever eaten. Meanwhile, the group tries to convince Duarph to let them plant the tree. To appease him, some of the team drink the dirty drinks Shale brought them, including Ciaran – who gets drunk immediately and has to sit down.
Kass tries to play music to help the situation, but is stopped and told he can only play drums. After making a deal to sell Duarph the tree and provide him the first fruit, he allows them to plant the tree.
Lastly, Neebs asks them where the cemetery is located. He plans to dig up ten graves as a loophole to the third task provided by the Lady of the Lake.