- Ciaran (LVL7) and Basile (LVL9)
- Lorn (LVL 9)
- Marven (LVL9)
- Neebs (LVL 9)
- Dwayne (LVL 9)
- Rhaegar (LVL 9)
- Alkaid (LVL 8)
- Kass (LVL 8)
Dwayne decides to draw from the deck of many things after seeing that Neebs had returned and was fine after drawing The Void. Testing his luck, he draws The Key and is gifted a major magic bow. He gives it to Alkaid to test out. He shoots an arrow at the tree and they see it’s electrically charged. Marven identifies it as a bow that can immediately kill demons and will create thunderstorms if shot enough. Dwayne thanks him and pays him in salted pork, but after he uses prestidigitation to make it taste rotten.
The group then breaks off to go through their errands before deciding what adventure to go on next.
Marven spends most of his time in town working on his tavern, which he wants to make into the best (and only) nightclub in town:
- He, Dwayne, and Lorn get together to start their plans. Lorn offers to do Marven’s books, and Dwayne is already hired as the chef. Marven tells them that he is looking for a special “item” that he can give to guests to make them feel “really great, almost euphoric or ecstatic” when they visit. Lorn is actually familiar that frogs may have secretions that have those effects, and offers to help. Plan “Lucy in the Sky with Dragons” is a go.
- As they split off, Marven goes to visit Ashisa, and asks if she will make drugs to give his patrons, explaining that he wants them “not super addictive, but just strong enough to help them have a great time.” She reluctantly agrees?
- Finally, he goes to see Seabright to begin updating The Last Call, which he will rename at a later date.
Lorn helps Ciaran read the many devil books they had borrowed, and determine that there are dozens of contradictions and loopholes in the convoluted laws. Meanwhile, Basile sneaks off to find the waystone that Rhaegar had told him about. He spends an hour desecrating it, blasting it apart with his eldritch fire, and writes “Kord Rulez, Avandra Droolz” in the dirt to make it look like some kid did it.
Neebs goes to visit Sherborne to fix the laws that Jennifer had enstated. He removes the taxes, returning them to what they once were. However, he still kicks out the homeless – but provides them a tent and bedrolls before sending them out of town. What a nice king??
At Xi-Long’s, Dwayne, Lorn, Alkaid, and Kass meet up to purchase and pick up items.
- Dwayne has his bow appraised, and Xi-Long informs him that Marven most likely lied about its abilities. After haggling price and value, (and nearly losing Xi-Long’s trust after casting Glibness), Dwayne decides that he may trade in the bow at a later date for a different rare item.
- Lorn secretly purchases a new spell book that is disguised from the group, as well as a Bag of Holding. He then proceeds to place dozens of traps and safety measures on his spell books.
- Alkaid asks Xi-Long about a holy enchantment for his bow, and decides that he still has to save some money before he’s able to afford the spell.
After visiting Xi-Long, Alkaid and Kass go to visit H’rathen to ask for a few divinations, but an eager and aggressive alchemist salesman named Chip Whitley (who is Dwayne’s apprentice) interrupts to try and sell items from “Ye Old Cutco.” H’rathen scolds him and tells him to come back after the divinations are done.
- Alkaid doesn’t trust Basile, and asks if he has any ill intents for the group. Kord replies, “Wheel and Woe,” which essentially means that he isn’t planning anything good or bad. Alkaid ask why Basile is hiding and keeping secrets. H’rathen explains that a divination probably wouldn’t reveal an answer, and tells Alkaid to ask Basile directly, to which Alkaid calls Basile a pussy (insert air horns.)
- H’rathen then allows Chip to come and sell Alkaid some holy water. They convince Alkaid to buy 10 vials.
- SUDDENLY, Ellerd bursts in and starts accusing H’rathen is defiling the waystone to Avandra that he and Torg erected. H’rathen denies it, but the two get into a verbal battle of insults. Eventually, H’rathen divinates to determine who actually destroyed the waystone. Kord answers, “Eythan Addler,” which confuses everyone, cause “who the hell in dungeons and dragons is named Eythan?” (We have two party members named Dwayne and Marven, normal names aren’t that crazy.)
- In frustration, H’rathen enlarges himself and goes to take the leftover waystone and throw it off the side of the cliff. Meanwhile, Alkaid and Dwayne offer to help Ellerd pay for a new one.
Lastly, Marven goes to visit Regis (ew) and asks him if he would like to do some business together. At first, Regis is understandably hesitant, as Marven’s entire group tried to kill him and humiliated him in front of town. Marven doesn’t like that answer and, while eating 20+ servings of salted pork, threatens to eat him if he doesn’t help find more information about his sister. Regis reluctantly agrees.
The group gets back together to decide where they are going to go next. They have several adventures to choose from, including helping Torque with his lair, collecting the Hydra heads for the Fang Reserve, checking in on Grunk, going after Sylvra in the Plane of Dis, or following the second treasure map. After some discussion, they decide to go to visit Grunk and kill the hydra on the way.
On the path to visit Grunk in the swamp, they run into a Sand Giant named Agnak, Son of Droth, who is embarking on his proving. He then attacks moves the earth around Rocky and drags him forward to attack.
- A giant fist made of earth pops up between him and group and smacks at Rocky.
- Neebs casts Knowledge Devotion and shoots an arrow at him, allowing everyone to have a bonus against him.
- Marven uses a sonic attack and breathes entangling fire as Alkaid shoots and arrow.
- Ciaran casts Hold Person on Agnak, but he fails the spell save. Dwayne, however, casts it and succeeds.
- Basile steps to the side and shoots an eldritch blast mixed with Hellfire.
- Lorn casts Summon Monster, but fails the concentration check as Agnak swipes at him. Rocky bullrushes against Lorn to push him away from the fight. The fist moves in to attack Lorn.
- Kass sings his song to boost the party, and starts shooting arrows that chip into the giant. Neebs shoots more over-powered arrows that slam into Agnak.
- Marven blows his slowing breath, and with that Agnak yields.
Devastated by his loss, he asks the party to kill him and put him out of his misery. While Basile is fine with that idea, Dwayne offers Agnak the goal to kill the hydra, stating that it is a worthy opponent and will surely prove his worth. Agnak agrees and goes off to collect the heads for them.
The group continues further into the bog. Alkaid and Kass look for the Zephyr Rabbit, but don’t see anything – only dust bunnies.
The first night passes peacefully, along with the next day of travel. However, on the second night, two hideous serpents with lions heads and claws sneak up on the group as they sleep.
- Rhaegar uses his lions roar to wake up the party and smacks the monster closest to him.
- Dwayne rushes over to help wake up Neebs and get him to his feet while Marven blows slowing breath.
- Basile blasts eldritch fire into one of the creatures and rips off chunks of flesh to reveal the skeleton inside. Everyone is able to pass the will save to keep fighting.
- Ciaran summons a Fiendish Monstrous Centipede the size of Agnak to attack for him, but it’s dumb and blind and misses.
- Alkaid shoots off three arrows, which chip off more chunks of flesh. However, it doesn’t seem to be hurting them.
- Neebs identifies the creature as Tazelwurms, which can only be hurt by small attacks. With the group overpowered, he casts Doom Scarabs to attack for him and bite at the creatures.
- The tazelwurms attack the centipede and Rhaegar, biting at them.
- Kass casts Summon Monster to surround the one attacking Rhaegar with bats. They start to bite and nip, causing damage.
- Lorn casts Magic Missile, but lets three of them miss and hit the trees. He quicken casts the spell once more. Rocky, who is the beefiest tank and damage dealer of all, just stands there and emits an aura to help the party resist damage.
- Rhaegar is unable to use his sword, so he just punches them in the face with his spike gauntlets.
- Dwayne casts haste!
- Marven uses tangling sonic breath and blasts off chunks – oops, too strong.
- Basile takes out his dagger and slashes at them, as Ciaran summons a second swarm of bats to surround the other tazelwurm. The centipede is still an idiot and misses so badly that he actually bites Basile.
- Alkaid sends Xylander off to attack, and casts Summon Nature’s Ally to have a wolf attack as well.
- Neebs casts a spell called Orbs of Acid at the tazelwurms as they start to attack Rhaegar and Rocky.
- Kass shoots darts with his pan flute and Lorn casts a few more Magic Missiles.
- Rhaegar punches the jaw off one of the tazelwurms, accidentally doing too much damage.
- Meanwhile, Dwayne – the one that fell dragons – uses his faerie fire.
- Marven uses his sonic attack again, managing to harm one.
- Basile uses his dagger to rip open the hole he had blasted and rips out the ribs, de-boning it and essentially preparing it for Marven to eat.
- Ciaran casts Magic Missile to do tiny damage. He’s so good. Small bean.
- The centipede misses AGAIN.
- Xylander and Alkaid’s summoned wolf attack them, biting at their snake-heels.
- Neebs continues to cast Orbs of Acid, causing the remaining tazelwurm to flee. BUT WE WANT TO KILL IT. So Xylander, the wolf, and the centipede attack it as Dwayne casts Halt. It freezes in place, and Kass shoots a dart at it.
- But it is Lorn, the mighty archer, who shoots his bow three times. However, he wants to bounce them off the tree and into its head like Neebs did oh so long ago. Instead of bouncing off, they dig into the trunk and knock it over onto the tazelwurm and crushes it.
As the group searches the carcass – right before Marven feasts – Lorn asks Neebs how he bounces arrows. Neebs looks off wistfully into the distance and says he was born with it.
The next day, the group wakes up to hear farting noises coming from Kass for a minute (thanks to Dwayne and his prestidigitation pranks.) They continue on their way and eventually arrive to the location where the hydra had been living. There they see that an epic battle had taken place, and the body of a dead hydra missing its heads slumped in the water.
From the fire burning around its stumps, they realize it was a Pyro Hydra and that the advice they gave Agnak to cauterize the wounds to stop the heads from growing back wouldn’t work. Oops. Good thing we didn’t have to deal with it, am I right?
They decide to check out the murky water to see if any adventurers had perished and lost their items in the pond. Marven takes an empty flask, has someone cast Dazzling Lights inside, and corks it. Huzzah, his idea for rave lights works! Oh, and he drops it into the water. However, they don’t see anything of worth below the water.
The group continues onward and arrive at the goblin camp a week later. They are greeted by warriors, but they show their “Get Out of Goblin Free” card and are taken to see Grunk – who is sitting on his Slippery Chair.
At first King Grunk is all haughty, but then he sees who has arrived and he immediately shifts to show reverence to his master and company. Neebs gives Grunk the armor he had purchased, and Lorn and Kass present him with a wolf cloak.
Grunk thanks them and asks if they will help solve their problem. A massive white (read: crayola macaroni and cheese) dragon has been terrorizing them, and they need help killing it. The group decides that they can help, since they already beat a dragon the month prior.
The group prepares to the best of their ability and head down the path to find the dragon. They see it flying toward them from far away, but are able to shake off their fear as Kass plays a song of bravery. Ciaran casts Anti Dragon Aura and his Protection Devotion to Ioun. Meanwhile, Lorn surrounds himself and Rocky with an Anti-Cold Sphere that can protect the group from the white dragon’s ice attack. He also casts Bite of the Were Boar on himself and Rocky. Dwayne casts Haste as it approached and lands before them.
Instead of a white dragon, as Grunk described, they are faced with an Green Wight (read: undead) Dragon. With his Anti-Cold Sphere useless, Lorn tells everyone to scatter immediately.
- Neebs flies off into the trees and shoots off Sadius, hitting the dragon in the chest twice.
- Marven flies up to the dragon and blows entangling fire, slowing it down.
- Lorn casts Rhino Rush, Lions Charge, and Shield on him and Rocky. He flies back as Rocky charges up and smashes into the dragon (which is a Pepsi bottle, making its contents dragon blood.) The dragon smacks Rocky in return.
- Alkaid fires off the new bow that Dwayne inherited, then backs the hell away.
- Rhaegar uses his Lions Roar and throws his sword, calling it back to him after it cuts deep into the dragon’s already rotting flesh.
- Pissed off, the dragon attacks Rocky five times with is claws and wings, and then blows acid on Rocky and Rhaegar. Both of them manage to survive the attack.
- Kass summons a swarm of bats to fly around the dragon’s face in an attempt to distract it.
- Dwayne uses his faerie fire, as Basile uses his Entropic Warding invocation to avoid being hit. He then uses his Hellfire Eldritch Blast from a safe distance. Ciaran activates his Cloak of Elemental Protection against acid, and casts two Scorching Rays. However, they miss. He shoots off two arrows that stick as he runs backwards.
- Neebs shoots Sadius again and knocks the dragon out of the sky. It lands heavily, and appears to be dead.
Marven flies over to the dragon and looks for loot as Lorn heals Rocky. Meanwhile, Rhaegar is drinking healing potions, and Basile and making sure that Ciaran is okay. Rocky sees a symbol on the dragons back that looks like a spiral with flames. The symbol begins to glow purple, and the eye of the dragon opens and looks at Marven.
- It stands up a roars, throwing Rocky off his back and it spins and begins to fly. Rocky is able to stay balanced and charges. However, the dragon casts Maze and transports Rocky to a different plane of existence.
- Kass summons a second swarm of bats to try and keep it distracted to protect Marven and Rhaegar.
- Dwayne uses his faerie fire a second time, and Basile uses his Hellfire Blast again despite it hurting him in the process. Ciaran fires off an arrow from the far back.
- Alkaid also shoots three consecutive arrows, but only one is able to hit and do damage.
- Neebs uses Greater Shout with Sadius, who yells “fuck you Logan!” loudly. The dragon is now named Logan.
- Marven uses his entangling fire once again to try and slow it down.
- Then in a miraculous show of intelligence, Rocky is able to escape the maze in two possible ways:
- He just turns around and walks away, not even choosing to go in the maze.
- He charges through all the walls until he reaches the end.
- Lorn quicken-summons a Celestial Monkey, and casts Baleful Transposition to switch Rocky and the monkey’s location.
- Alkaid shoots three additional arrows, all of them slamming into Logan, as Rhaegar throws his sword into the dragon once more before calling it back.
- Logan flies back a step and blows a line of acid 120 feet straight at Lorn and Rocky. He then quicken casts Prismatic Spray to charge forward and spit blinding lights at Alkaid, Lorn, Rocky, and Ciaran.
- Ciaran is blinded by the attack, but switches the eye patch from his left eye over to his right eye in order to see. His vision is still blurry, but he can see a blue ray of light coming at him and is able to dodge it.
- Alkaid is hit with an orange light and takes acid damage, but is able to stay standing.
- Rocky is hit with a violet ray of light, but is able to pass the will save to avoid being transported to another dimension.
- However, Lorn is struck by the yellow beam of light and is struck by lightning and dies immediately.
- Dwayne and Kass try to attack, but their Magic Missiles and arrows bounce off.
- Basile runs back from the dragon, trying to get to Ciaran while shooting off an eldritch blast. Ciaran, who is screaming and sobbing, is unable to attack.
- Neebs uses Greater Shout from Sadius again as Marven entangles Logan with his breath.
- In pure rage and pain, Rocky charges forward and smashes through the dragon dozens of times, breaking it into pieces until there is only pulp left.
Everyone gathers together to handle the repercussions of the fight. Basile goes to heal Rhaegar, Rocky, and Alkaid with his healing belt, then focuses on consoling Ciaran – who is still visible traumatized from seeing his best friend die. Rhaegar also comforts him, promising they will bring Lorn back. Ciaran eventually musters up the strength to search the dragon for any possessions with Dwayne, but they only find the acid sac to be valuable.
Rocky talks to Marven and tells him to draw the symbol he had seen. Marven does so and shows the group. Rhaegar recognizes it from a seal inside Count Rugen’s office back at home, while Neebs remembers seeing it once while he was working for his old boss. However, Marven knows it as the personal seal of Daccon Ebbonfire; he keeps this information to himself.
Dwayne sends a message to H’rathen magically, explaining that they fought an undead green wight dragon and need to find its hoard. He also mentions that Lorn died “lol” and hopes H’rathen is doing well. H’rathen eventually gets back, saying he will need more information on what happened to try and help.
The group collect’s Lorn’s skeleton and items and they return to Grunk’s kingdom. Grunk is shocked and saddened. Neebs tells him that they plan to bring him back to life, and Grunk leads them to a special place where they can resurrect him. When they arrive, they see that there is a portal room similar to the ones in Goblin’s Peak. They realize that the yellow orb will bring them here.
Relieved, they are able to travel straight to Dwarvenshire, saving a week’s worth of travel to take Lorn back.
They immediately go to Xi-Long and tell him that Lorn needs to be resurrected completely. Dwayne trades his new bow, and the rest of the group pulls their funds together to pay for the Scroll of True Resurrection. However, Xi-Long is anxious to do so when he realizes what the symbol on the dragon had meant. He doesn’t want the Rage of the Ebbonfire to come down on him for resurrecting someone they killed. Marven assures him that he is in no danger.
When they purchase the scroll, the hurry to the Temple of Kord to ask H’rathen to read the spell. He agrees, but wants to have a touch of fun. He wants to have Dwayne cast an illusion to make Lorn think he came back as a dwarf through an Incarnation Spell. Dwayne agrees eagerly.
He sets up banners of Kord around Lorn’s body, and Kass starts to play dwarven music on his drums. H’rathen reads the scroll, and everyone sees as a bright light forms in front of them and Lorn’s body is created. A bright flash blinds everyone, and when they can see again Lorn is laying unconscious in the temple.
Dwayne rouses him with a spell, and also casts an illusion to make him look like a dwarf. However, Lorn – though dazed – sees through the illusion, stating that it’s not quite realistic enough as he looks down at his waist. He then takes a cloth and uses prestidigitation to make a loin cloth. He then takes the armor off his old body to wear it again.
Ciaran runs up to hug him, and Basile asks him more about the spell that was used to resurrect him completely. Lorn also offers Marven his old body as a meal, to which Marven declines before eventually giving in.
With Lorn back, the group focuses on getting the hoard from Logan. They give H’rathen a details map and directions to where they were, and he casts Commune to speak with Kord and discern where the hoard is located. He is able to ask ten yes or no questions to determine that it is above ground within 100 miles to the south or southwest of where they had fought Logan. They realize it’s in the same forest where Occam’s grove is located.
Lorn purchases a Scroll of Teleportation to transport the group quickly to the forest. He then Commune’s with Nature to speak with the trees. They lead him to the grassy hill where the hoard is hiding. The party goes inside after checking for traps and find a massive hoard of gold and platinum, precious artwork, and dozens of magic items. The group gathers everything that they can carry.