Ahh, it’s been so long since we sat down and played D&D. Boy, was this the HARDEST dungeon we have ever had to face. Some people died, serious life-changing decisions were made, and a tragedy triggered a year-long hiatus from adventuring. Then, it became one of the most laid back sessions of D&D ever, where most of it was cinematic descriptions and less dice rolling. It was a nice change of pace.
- Ciaran (LVL11) and Basile (LVL13)
- Lorn (LVL 13)
- Marven (LVL13)
- Neebs (LVL 13)
- Rhaegar (LVL 13)
- Alkaid (LVL 13)
- Kass (LVL 12)
After deciding that giants in the dungeon weren’t the first thing they wanted to face, the party heads upstairs. At the top of the stairs is a door, which Ciaran checks for traps and unlocks. Inside the room were two dread wraiths, a vampire and his seven spawns, and an antlered demon called a Death Drinker.
Upon their arrival, the Death Drinker laughs lowly and asks if they came here to die. Lorn answers no, to which the Death Drinker replied that “you’ve come to the wrong place.” “Thank you for letting us know!” Lorn says as he uses Mage Hand to try and close the door. However, that trick doesn’t work a second time. Marven boasts, “Let’s dance, big man! You picked the wrong town to fuck with,” and walks into the room.
- The Death Drinker casts Greater Teleport and appears behind Rocky and Lorn. He slams his great sword into Rocky three times, and a blackened aura seeps into the rhino.
- Lorn wild shapes into a dire gorilla as Rocky retaliates and bites the demon.
- Marven breathes slow breath onto the “big boi” demon and is able to identify the spawns as undead. He activates his Belt of Battle to slow breath the vampire and three of his spawn.
- Alkaid casts Reality Bend on himself to make himself harder to hit, then calls upon a second Alkaid from another timeline. Meanwhile, Xylander charges into the room and mauls a spawn.
- Rhaegar changes Torch into a silver weapon and charges the vampire. Using his Elder Warhammer, he swings and his sword is drawn into the brooch that the vampire is wearing. One of the crystals shatters upon impact.
- Ciaran turns undead, exploding five of the spawn with ease. Basile runs up behind him and throws an Eldritch Blast into a nearby dread wraith, linking it into the vampire and two more spawns.
- The vampire and remaining spawn stare at Rhaegar and catch his gaze. Their red glow begins to overtake him, and he is dominated and told to kill his allies. He turns on Xylander to attack. The dread wraiths charge up to Ciaran and Xylander. They attack, and while Ciaran is hit, Basile take the brunt of the attack and his deathward goes off.
- Neebs takes a few steps back and fires four arrows with Scorching Ray into the Death Drinker.
- The Death Drinker casts Greater Area Dispel Magic to make Lorn’s spells unusable.
- While Rocky attacks the Death Drinker, Lorn steps back and activates his Circlet of Rapid Casting to use Telekinesis. He throws his bag of sword, but only two of the thirteen swords manage to hit the demon. One of them hits Rocky on accident.
- Marven empowers his slow breath on the vampire and dread wraiths.
- Meanwhile, “emo” Alkaid attacks the vampire with silver arrows. The vampire’s brooch absorbs the damage, with the last two crystals shattering. The true Alkaid then fires off arrows into the Death Drinker as Xylander attacks the dread wraith on him – almost tripping over himself in the process.
- Rhaegar shakes off his compulsion and attacks the vampire again.
- Basile uses his hellfire on the dread wraith that attacked Ciaran, as Ciaran turns undead again to kill the remaining spawn.
- Knowing that he’s going to lose, the vampire turns into a cloud of smoke and vanished. Meanwhile the dread wraith hits Ciaran and Xylander again.
- Kass arrives and starts to sing to empower the group. This startles Neebs just enough to make his second shot miss and hit the ceiling, but his other arrows bounce off and slam into the Death Drinker’s head and kills it.
Lorn and Basile heal those who were wounded in the fight. Lorn also casts deathward on those who didn’t have the protection prior to the battle. He then wild shapes into a tiny golden monkey to ride on Kass’ back. Rhaegar rides Rocky in Lorn’s place.
Marven then decides to try and sneak up on Xylander and pounces on him, like an apex predator – a Killer Whale of sorts. Neebs encourages it and tells him to eat Xylander. Marven takes a bit and he tastes like weird champagne soap macaroons.
The group heads back downstairs, with nothing left to explore upstairs. The giants are still attempting to break through the ice wall that they had cast. Lorn comes up with the idea to make a hole in the ice so they can shoot through to the giants and not let them escape.
Neebs has a “better” idea and shoots Rhaegar with a Dimension Hop arrow, teleporting him inside the room and in the center of the Death Giants and Devourers. As he realizes how boned he is, Rhaegar apologizes to Basile for before, which surprises the tiefling. He accepts the apology as the giants cast Great Dispel Magic on Rhaegar to make him lose his Bulls Strength and Death Ward.
- The giants slam their great axes into Rhaeagar as he tries to counter. The devourer’s each attack him twice and drain his energy, forcing him to lose four levels.
- Marven uses his slow breath on the two giants, as Neebs fires four Scorching Rays into them. One of the giants dies immediately.
- Rhaegar gets an attack of opportunity with Bloodweeper on the death giant as it attempts to cast a Fire Strike on him. However, the devourer’s use an Enervating Ray on Rhaegar, killing him for the second time that night. His soul is sucked into the Death Giant’s aura.
- Alkaid fires an arrow at the giant, screaming “This is for killing my friend…maybe.” His arrows puncture into his face and kill him, causing the souls to be released.
- Lorn casts Scorching Ray at a devourer, then quicken casts Splinter Bolt to attack again. He then hies under Rocky, because he’s just a monkey.
- Kass uses his sonic bow and shoots an arrow into the ear of a devourer. It explodes in its brain and kills it.
- Ciaran shoots two arrows, wanting to save his spellcasting for a more dangerous enemy. Basile fires off an Eldritch Blast with hellfire into the devourer.
- Neebs shoots an arrow into Rhaegar’s body to Dimension Hop him back out, saying “I got you, buddy!” He’s completely unaware that he pretty much murdered Rhaegar. He then kills the final devourer.
Neebs pays Lorn 10% of the money it will cost to reincarnate Rhaegar, since they don’t have the time or money to get a True Resurrection Scroll. Lorn summons a goat and cuts its throat, then sprinkles Rhaegar’s body with herbs and reincarnates him. Rhaegar returns as a Kobold. Lorn draws on his face and names him, “Siimbaaaa.”
As Rhaegar yells at them all for pretty much killing him and bringing him back as a joke, Marven and Basile move ahead to check the next door. Marven finds an arcane lock on it in the shape of a skull head. He realizes that the crystal skull he had looted from one of the bodies fits and the door opens.
The door leads to a dark hallway. Marven and Basile can’t see the end despite their dark vision. The walls are carved with runes that no one can read. The group starts to head down the path, with Kass casting daylight to lead the way. Now a Kobold, Rhaegar’s eyes are hyper sensitive to the light.
At the end of the tunnel they see a sarcophagus. Marven, Basile, Ciaran, and Neebs approach it slowly. It starts to glow with a blue light beneath them, and a Cage of Force surrounds them, trapping them inside with Basile just outside of the wall. The lid starts to slide open.
- Ciaran isn’t about that life, and walks over to smack the monster with his sword to shove it back inside (very much like this).
- Marven uses the Immovable Rod to stop the lid from opening further, then breaths fire into the coffin to try and burn the mummy before it escapes.
- Neebs cast Dimension Hop to escape, leaving Marven and Ciaran alone with the Mummy Lord as it pushes its way out. However, he uses three blunt arrows to teleport Ciaran and Marven out, replacing them with Rocky – who lands on the coffin not so gracefully, and himself back inside. He tries to retrieve the rod but doesn’t know the password. He tries to ask Marven, who can’t hear him past the cage.
- Alkaid summons another self, then shrugs because they don’t know what to do. They can’t shoot past the cage, so Rocky and Neebs are on their own.
- Marven agrees, and barrell rolls toward the exit as Basile asks him with the password is. He replies, snorkel, and Basile relays that to Neebs.
- Lorn and Rocky keep watch on the exits as the mummy lord attacks Neebs.
- Rhaegar uses his Torc of Antimagic to break through the force cage. He then shoots a crossbow at the mummy.
- Neebs yells “Snorkel” and remove the rod, allowing the mummy to fully emerge. He then sees an ivory box in the bottom of the sarcophagus. He takes it.
- Basile blasts eldritch fire into the mummy as Ciaran shoots some arrows from the back of the hallway. His arrows drive right into its chest.
- With the mummy fully out, Marven breaths a blast of fire. Basile empowers it with his own hellfire. The two fires swirl together and create a demonic dragon that devours the mummy completely.
The group finds nothing else of worth in the room, they leave to head back upstairs. They find that a secret passageway opened up in the middle of the main hall, leading down into another basement. As they head down, Neebs opens up the ivory box and sees a scarab brooch. He puts it on and puts a healing potion in the box.
When the group notices his new brooch, they ask him where he found it. He lies and says it’s a family heirloom. Marven asks if he can examine it, which Neebs denies. After a few more seconds of arguing, Neebs allows Marven to check it out.
As Marven looks at it, the brooch comes to life and burrows into Marven’s hand. It quickly crawls up into his chest, and Ciaran tries to fire off an arrow to stop the beetle. However, he’s too slow and as his arrow burrows into Marven’s chest, the scarab had already eaten his heart and killed him. It crawls back out, having dodged the arrow, and sits in Marven’s palm.
Lorn takes it before Neebs can reclaim it and puts it into the Bag of Holding for safe keeping as he begins the ritual to reincarnate Marven. However, the beetle is able to eat and crawl its way out, burrowing into Lorn’s neck and killing him.
With two of the party members down, the group starts to head back to Neebsenshire to see if H’rathen can reincarnate them. At first, Can Tankerous won’t let them enter because Rhaegar is a Kobold. He doesn’t believe them when they try to explain that he was reincarnated until Neebs confirms its true.
(THEN, THE DM’S GRACIOUSLY LET US REWIND TIME, BECAUSE IF ERIC HAD BEEN THERE, DWAYNE WOULD HAVE USE HIS AMULET TO REWIND TIME AND PREVENT THEM FROM DYING.)
They quickly put the scarab back into the ivory box and lock it. Neebs still wants the brooch, but won’t take it out until the curse is lifted. The group then continues into the next room and find a woman inside. She is beautiful, with white hair and gray eyes, and she’s wearing a fur cloak. As the group enters, she asks if they are there to rescue her.
Everyone except Xylander and Rocky are immediately enamored by her and approach. They can’t help but surround her as she speaks to them. When Rhaegar asks who she is, she replied, “your worst nightmare” and starts to summon an ice and wind storm around them. No one seems to realize the danger and starts taking damage.
Rocky tries to get Lorn, Marven, and Basile’s attention to warn them of the threat, but they don’t respond. So, he breathes fire at everyone to try and stop the snow.
- Alkaid is unresponsive, so Xylander charges in and attacks the woman.
- Rhaegar is able to shake off the spell and smacks the woman with Torch, and bites her as well.
- Lorn, who is still sitting on Kass’ shoulder, is able to break through the charm. He tries to bite Kass’ ear to snap him out of it, but it doesn’t get his attention. He tells Basile telepathically, “She’s fucking with us! We’re fucked!” Basile responds, “Yeah, isn’t that the point? Neebs, I finally understand.” Neebs starts to undress as Marven stares and drools, thinking “don’t tell Ashisa.”
- As the vortex vanished, the woman whirlwind attacks and smacks everyone with a spear in her range, causing everyone to be either stunned or shaken.
- Rhaegar is able to shake it off again and uses his Dancing Mongoose maneuver and Iron Heart Surge to attack her three times, one of them being a critical hit.
- Lorn casts Magic Circle Against Evil which frees everyone from the charm. However, they’re all still stunned and unable to move.
- The woman summons another icy vortex, and Basile drops dead. Ciaran starts freaking out because he starts feeling pain and knows that Basile’s gone.
- Xylander claws at the woman as he’s pelted by ice, and Rhaegar continues to swing his sword at her.
- Lorn takes off the Amulet of Emergency Healing from Ciaran and uses it to save Basile from the brink of death. He then quicken casts an Empowered Cure Serious Wounds to help Kass. Finally, he grabs Ciaran, Basile, and Marven and teleports them out of range. Rocky continues to fight and accidentally hits Rhaegar.
- Marven breaths fire from a distance, trying to stop her ice storm.
- Neebs and Kass are still stunned and can’t move. Meanwhile, Ciaran uses his healing belt to try and heal himself, but instead the spells travels through his bond to heal Basile and bring him back to consciousness.
- Back on his feet, Basile shoots off a hellfire enriched eldritch blast and burns the woman badly.
- A third ice storm picks up around them. Suddenly, an mystical wall appears in front of Lorn, but the druid is able to see through it (as Eric sends a text saying he casts illusion in front of Lorn wherever they are right now.) Lorn casts Hammersphere to sack tap Dwayne.
- Rhaegar changes Torch into a Cold Iron Spear and attacks, causing a ton of damage.
- Lorn grabs the Amulet of Emergency Healing to heal Neebs who is on the brink of death while Rocky continues to attack
- Marven blows acid against her, despite Rhaegar suggesting he blow fire because that seems to be hurting her. The acid hurts her, too.
- Neebs is able to figure out that she is a Frostwind Virago and shoots two arrows, with a third critical hit into the heart as he whispers, “I loved you.”
As Lorn heals everyone, Marven and Basile go to the next door and hear something like an animal on the other side. A creature is bored and hungry. Marven opens the door.
Inside they see an undead sphinx chained to the wall. Behind her is a prismatic wall blocking the next door. She asks if they will release her, to which everyone says the last person who said that tried to kill them. The groups asks why she’s here, and she explains that “he” made her stay to protect the door. She will let them pass if they either feed her or answer a riddle.
Neebs throws one of the Rhaegar carcasses for her to eat, which she devours. However, it’s not alive enough. She wants fresh meat. Lorn (who is still a monkey) offers to summon a creature for her. She wants humanoid meat, to which Lorn replies, “I can be whatever you want me to be, baby.” However, she still declines.
The group agrees to answer her riddles for passage:
She first asks Neebs, “some form a parliament, Others a company, congregation or convocation, The mob can see a murder, or clamor and wake, A bouquet is presented when flushed. What are we?”
After some thought, the group helps him determine that the answer is birds. After guessing the correct answer, she gives him a kiss on the cheek and he is granted with a charm that lets him pass. He dives through the prismatic wall and smacks into another wall.
Next she asks Rhaegar, “I know a word of letters three. Add two, and fewer there will be.” The group helps him guess “few,” which is correct. He is granted a charm as well.
She then asks Lorn, “I am big and mighty, and scared of sharp objects. I feed everyone and watch people go by. I have my feet stuck and hate talking with my big mouth. What am I?” Before she even finished, he yells out “tree” and is given a charm for guessing correctly.
Lastly, she asks Marven, “I’m a five-letter word that has no end, Commit a sin? One through three can amend, One, four and five are something alive, Two and three occur near to thee. What am I?” After serious brainstorming, no one was able to figure it out. Not even Basile or Lorn could read her mind for the answer.
As Marven prepares to cut off his own arm to feed her for passage, he has the idea to return to his dungeon to grab the Horn of Gondor. He teleports away using his command word to return home. Lorn reads his mind and learns that it’s raisin.
Meanwhile, Alkaid asks what a group of Sphinxes are called, to which she replied “a riddle of sphinxes.” Lorn asks what her name is, and she states that she can’t remember. Lorn names her Grape, and she is pleased.
Marven returns and blows the horn to summon an orc. As it starts to shoot arrows at Marven, the sphinx leaps on him and devours it. They summon a second one for her as well as promised.
With that, she allows them all passage past the wall. Rhaegar offers to free her, and Marven suggests that she live in his lair to protect it. She agreees, and Marven spits acid on the shackles to release her. He states that he’ll “text the deets” to her so she can find the lair. She says to “follow me on instagram.”
The group goes past the prismatic wall and up to the next door. Basile and Marven listen into the other side but hear nothing. They open the door and enter.
Inside are empty cells down a long hall, with large black spikes similar to the one used to trap the Hound Archon on the ground. Rocky manages to dislodge one for them to take with them. Marven burns down the next door and sees that the ghostly squire, Jacob, is trying to fight a dracolich.
Excited that he is now a knight, Ciaran shoots his arrow into the dracolich to help Jacob, who is upset that Ciaran is “doing it wrong.” Ciaran shoots another and kills it, but it regenerates. The boy explains that he has to defeat it like his master did, so the group tries to figure out the puzzle.
- Basile eldritch blasts it, as well as traps it in his Chilling Tentacles. While it kills the beast, it continued to regenerate.
- Neebs shoots off its feet with arrows, so he can “de-feet” it. It seems to be closer to solving the mystery, but no luck.
- The group cycles through various ways of killing it, including chipping off all its limbs, slicing its head, only damaging the “right” side.
- Finally, Alkaid decides to choke-hold it and brings it down. The boy is excited as he remembers that his master said they must capture what they can’t kill.
The dracolich vanishes and turns into a door that leads into the next room. Basile can sense hatred on the other side, with thoughts of “kill” and “betrayal” permeating through. Lorn casts Haste as they enter the room and see four zombies with blue eldritch symbols on them. Standing in the center is a skeleton warrior, who states, “You who forgot me will die.”
In a moment of wisdom, Rhaegar dares to whisper, “what’s his name again?”
- Razak, the forgotten hero, charges forward at Rhaegar and Rocky. In a flurry of movements almost unnoticeable to the naked eye, he uses the Time Stand Still maneuver to strike Rhaegar several times. Rhaegar’s deathward armor flashes as Razak’s kukri releases a prismatic spray. Rhaegar is annihilated with 22 attacks at once for 200 points of damage. He dies for the third time.
- Lorn casts Firebrand to blast all the zombies and Razak, then empowers Chain Lightning on them. Rocky moves to attack, but Razak rapid counters the rhino and kills Rocky in another barrage of blows.
- Upon seeing the slaughter, Marven finally makes a deal with Pendralar: he is allowed access to Pendralar’s breath weapon and in turn must go to the Ebonfire to incubate an egg and raise the young one. With that, it is as if a corner of his mind suddenly becomes clear. He walks up to the center of the room and digs his wings into the ground, then unleashes an explosion of fire that combined all the elements – the black maw of a massive dragon forming behind him and laughing darkly. Razak dies with 458 damage.
When the smoke clears, Marven is severely burnt and collapses. After reviving him and starting to heal him, Alkaid summons another self that brings a zephyr rabbit for Marven to eat.
The group loots the room and the bodies, and makes a total of 600,000 gold in magic items and coins. In the back of the room, Jacob is crying. Ciaran goes up to him, and the child begins to scream at them and say that everything was their fault.
He then floats up into the air, his eyes turning red as a massive cloud forms in the room. Lorn recognizes it as a perversion of a powerful Storm Dginn ability. Lightning, thunder, and rain begin to bombard the room. The wind pushes everyone back.
- Lorn turns into a rhino to charge forward as best as he could. He then turns back into a human and tries to hug the kid but is thrown back into the wall.
- Alkaid rides Xylander closer as Marven tries to close the door, but the winds are too strong. He uses the immovable rod, but the door breaks around it.
- Basile is fucking PISSED that Jacob is scaring Ciaran, who fears storms, and blasts him repeatedly until the child dies with an inhuman wail.
As the child vanishes, the keep begins to quake. Lorn quickly teleports everyone out before it falls around them. They return to Neebsenshire and see that there is a column of smoke rising from the center of town. The cloud is gone, but so is the town. All that is left is a crater, with the only buildings remaining including Marven’s lair, Lorn’s tent, and Rhaegar’s home – as they were hollowed by Lorn’s spells. Even the mighty Temple of Kord is gone. Thankfully, everyone was evacuated safely to Neebs Peak.
Lorn talks to Marven about Pendralar, curious about the quest Pendralar put him on in exchange for his breath weapon. Marven replies, “I don’t need to worry about it. I’ll probably be dead in ten years. But if I’m still alive in 9 years 11 months, we’ll get Neebs to do it.” The two shake on it.
- Ciaran (LVL14) and Basile (LVL16)
- Lorn (LVL 16)
- Marven (LVL16)
- Neebs (LVL 16)
- Rhaegar (LVL 16)
- Alkaid (LVL 16)
- Kass (LVL 14)
A year passes as the group takes a break from adventuring and rebuilds the town. Rhaegar was restored to his normal body, while Neebs check on the civilians and purchases a True Resurrection Scroll to save Toxal. Basile, Lorn, Ciaran, and Levi work to build a Temple of Ioun where the Fang Reserve once stood. Alkaid sets up a small arrow shop in town and Marven makes sure that The Lair is well stocked with food and drink – now that it’s the only place to get food in town. Kass starts to develop a Bard College, where he practices magic and starts teaching music lessons.
During this time, Basile decides to ask Neebs about relationship advice, since he felt strangely interested in women after dealing with the Frostwind Virago. Neebs basically brushed him off and said he’d hook him up. Lorn, who overheard the conversation, also offers his own advice by stating devil pheromones are the strongest of all and that he should be able to get with anyone he wants. Basile tries to explain that he doesn’t want to just sleep with anyone, but with someone who isn’t afraid of him. Lorn offers to find him a blind person, since they won’t be scared of his presence. Basile finally goes to Marven, since he’s the one who actually has a girlfriend. Marven says he gave a gift to Ashisa that made her prettier, so he should just find someone who will give him something to make him not as ugly. He then offers to help him find his own “ice bitch” since that seemed to be what Basile was into. Basile is distraught at the awful advice given by everyone.
Not too long after, Alkaid continues to rip on Basile about being a child murderer. The tiefling finally loses his temper and the two have a massive argument that reveals Basile has burned down entire cities in his past and that Alkaid was kidnapped and tortured. It’s also revealed that Alkaid is actually a woman. After getting into an actual fist fight, Basile leaves with Rhaegar to go on a trip to the Commonwealth to rally up a group of soldiers to protect Neebsenshire.
With Basile and Rhaegar gone, Ciaran spends a lot of time reading and learning about Ioun from Levi and Lorn. He’s completely enthralled by it and ends up stealing a ton of money from Basile’s savings to purchase an Ioun stone, as well as some others gifts as a birthday present for Basile. He also talks Stormageddon about “bird horses,” and when Stormageddon manages to get a pegasus, Ciaran explains that’s a “horse bird” and he wants a “bird horse.” Stormageddon is confused.
Lorn continues to build two wizard towers: one normal one, and one sticking out from the statue’s groin. Neebs is pleased and he gathers the dragonborn brothers and his squire to go on an adventure. In secret, Lorn also creates a simulacrum of himself and Rhaegar, making Rhaegar 2 and Lorn 2. Lorn 2 is in town helping as many people as he can, seemingly able to assist and defy laws of time.
Meanwhile, Marven makes sure that Grape is settled in and is restored to a new living body. Kass practices weaving magic into clothing to see if he can one day make magic items to help his friends.
Alkaid also decides to try and get closer to the members of Neebs and Associates to try and grow a stronger relationship. This includes going hunting with Ciaran to teach him how to survive in the wild. While doing this, the two find a stray egg in the forest and take it back into town. Ciaran wants to keep it and makes Alkaid promise not to tell Basile – which isn’t hard. He also tells Kass, since he thinks Kass will be the best person to help him take care of an egg since he’s a raptoran – plus, Neebs is out of town with Sbeen keeping charge, and Sbeen isn’t a real bird.
Speaking of Neebs, he travels to Dis to bargain for Jennifer’s soul with the souls of the dragons that he and the dragonborn brother’s slayed. He is able to retrieve her soul and bring her back to life and into her beautiful form.
After learning that Ashisa is pregnant with his child, Marven proposes to her and builds a house where the Three Shepherds once stood. When he decides to check on Grape, he’s shocked to find that Ciaran has managed to sneak his way into the dungeon to talk to her. Ciaran doesn’t reveal how he made it past his traps, but it’s no surprise that he probably spotted and disabled them all with his Cloak of Eyes. Ciaran doesn’t tell Marven, but he has left the egg with Grape for her to sit on – since she is also part bird and should know what to do. Grape obliges and Ciaran feeds her sandwiches as payment.
Neebs eventually returns to town and creates Thadeus, a new bow for him to use. When Marven asks him to be the best man at the wedding, Neebs says he’ll hook him up. He charms the war ship to allow it to fly, and then goes off to collect all of the prostitutes in the Commonwealth. He also attempts to make trade routes through the Commonwealth on his trips, but all trade deals seem to fall apart.
This is probably because of the events that took place during Basile and Rhaegar’s trip. The two safely made it to a small town called Vizima to meet with the mercenaries Rhaegar used to travel with. After winning a fighting tournament against the mercenary champion, he is allowed fifty orc soldiers to return to Neebsenshire to protect the town. They then travel further north into Commonwealth territory to find his friend, Thrask. They manage to find him in a town called Honnelheath, but after Rhaegar opens his mouth and says “fuck the king,” dozens of soldiers come to arrest him. He, Basile, and Thrask manage to escape by fighting their way out, and Basile burns the town to the ground – for the second time.
When they make it back to town, they resurrect Rhaegar’s wife and daughter. Ciaran quickly becomes friends with Serena, and learns from Rhaegar that the bird horse he desires is probably called a hippogriff. He begs Basile for one, saying that Lorn has Rocky, and Alkaid has Xylander, and Neebs has Torrin, but Basile says no more pets.
Lorn, who has been studying and researching spells to prepare for any attacks on the town, finds a Dire Tortoise in the forest and makes it Lorn 2.0’s animal companion. When Basile returns, he and Pythos try to determine what happened to Levi’s memories but are unable to find a cure.
During this time, Alkaid’s shop is thriving, and she makes enough money to purchase a Quiver of Elements to use on her adventures. Basile visits and gives her a Shalan era pendant he purchased while traveling. Alkaid, who has been studying Shalan history over several months, immediately recognizes it as her family crest. Basile gives it to her as an apology gift, and their animosity toward one another seemed quelled for now.
Late in the year, Ashisa gives birth to a baby girl: a half dragon, quarter gnome, quarter yuan-ti named Lilixtara – Lili for short. As the group starts to plan the wedding, Ciaran spends most of his time either visiting Grape to care for the secret egg, and babysitting Lili. Neebs returns with the love boat to present to Basile and Marven – two birds with one stone. Rhaegar warns his wife not to interact with Neebs.
Before the bachelor party, the group purchases wedding gifts for Marven, notably a Yuan-ti dagger for Ashisa and a Cerberus Flail for Marven from Lorn. Marven gives the Zephyr Blade to Rocky, now that he had a new weapon to use. Basile also gives Marven and Ashisa Rings of Communication as a wedding gift.
Everyone gets on the love boat to attend the bachelor party Neebs planned. Lorn drafts the proper paperwork and everyone travels to Mechanus. There, Neebs and Marven t-pee the city. Once they run out of toilet paper, and Lorn explains that they have the proper documentation to prank Mechanus, they travel to the Elemental Plane of Fire. There, they meet with Skull King, who showed them the best places to gamble with the richest and finest people. The group broke even in the end. Finally, they visited every layer of hell to stop at all the strip clubs. Neebs may have been the only one who really enjoyed himself – since he seems to have a kink for devils. Eventually, Basile thinks “fuck it” and agrees to sleep with the prostitute that doesn’t fear his presence. He spends most of the night talking to her, and eventually when he does sleep with her, feels unsatisfied.
A few weeks later was the wedding. It was held outside in the middle of town, which was decorated with flowers from the regrown Mottlegrasp Orchid. Kass is playing the ceremony music, skillfully playing multiple instruments at once. Ciaran is the ring bearer, and present the rings that Basile had purchased. Everyone else is standing at the front with Marven and dressed in their finest – except Rhaegar, who is still in his armor. Even Basile is allowing himself to be visible, but is wearing a Hat of Disguise to make himself appear human. Even Rocky is wearing a pink rose on his nose, and the Lady of the Lake is in attendance wearing a matching rose. She gave Marven “the zephyr blade” as a gift. It was a Tea Kettle. H’rathen performed the marriage ceremony and there was not a single dry eye in Neebsenshire.
The reception was held at The Lair, where all food and drinks were on the house. Neebs gave a touching and heartfelt speech as the best man – for once not making it about himself or about women. Kass performs “We Are Men,” a song he wrote for the party. Neebs, who quickly drinks himself stupid, sings with him and has “a lot of heart.” Even Alkaid and Basile – who typically don’t drink – partake in the merriment. Alkaid gets wasted and Basile loosens up enough to not be a bitter asshole. Ciaran spends most of the night dancing with Rhaegar’s daughter and playing games. Rhaegar is a terrible dancer, and his wife tries to guide him to no avail. Lorn chooses to not drink and Rocky wanted to play charades but no one couldn’t understand dragon or rhino.
The dragon born brothers come forward to provide gifts to Marven, and even Regis stops by. He asks if he and Marven are cool now, to which Marven says “yeah buddy.” Regis jabs him on arm playfully, and Marven sternly states, “don’t do that,” before laughing and saying, “Nah, just kidding. I’m drunk.” Grunk and his entourage come in and tell Marven that they had tamed Dire Wolves as gifts, but the winter was hard and they had to eat them. Stormageddon visits to bring Lili, whom he had been babysitting during the reception.
Late that night as the party was winding down, Neebs notices hundreds and thousands of lights flickering in the valley outside the city. He immediately gathers the associates to prepare for whatever may be coming, and gets everyone else to teleport to Neebs Peak.
An army approaches, and several wyverns wit riders fly above. A particularly large wyvern lands on the outer wall. The rider on its back has a white parlay flag, and behind them are three troops. The first is the Ni’euu gnomes, who have a Shock Troop of riders on giant crabs and turtles. The second is a group consisting of many races, all of which wear black dragon armor – the Ebonfire. The third and largest group is thousands of soldiers from the Commonwealth.
As Neebs and Associates approach, the wyvern rider states that he is here to parlay under High Prince Rugen. He then uses a wand to cast a realistic hologram of High Prince Rugen himself and several nobles of the Commonwealth. Beside him are members of the Ebonfire: Erzai, a half-orc half-dragon man, and Aurok, a human with slightly draconic features. Also with the Ebonfire are two eight foot tall half-dragons: a blue dragon named Maz and a green dragon named Korpi. On the other side of Rugen is a gnome adorned in tattoos wearing a championship belt around his waist. His name is Taki’umalaki.
Rugen demands to annex the city, and asks for the King to come speak with him. Neebs (while wearing the crown) states that the King is a few miles in the other direction. With a 34 bluff, Rugen believes it for some reason. He tells Neebs to send a message. Neebs tells him to go send the message himself.
The dwarf statue that Neebsenshire rests upon starts to rumble, and several of the homes in the square begin to collapse. Rugen suggests that Neebs reconsider, but Neebs brushes him off while spinning the crown around his finger.
Rugen threatens that Neebs Peak and Neebsenshire will be in danger unless they agree to fall under the banner of the Commonwealth. Neebs can continue to rule his town, but should the Commonwealth ever need his men for war, they must oblige. The Ebonfire require that Marven, whom they call Mivix, come home. Taki’umalaki knows that Dwayne isn’t dead, and demand that he too come down to them.
Neebs plays it off cool and states that he has no problem with a parlay with the Commonwealth, but states he doesn’t know any Mivix. If they want Marven, they can’t have him now. It’s his wedding night.
Erzai is surprised that “something” wanted to marry. Maz, the blue dragon, calls out to Kass and asks him to join then. Kass explains that he doesn’t trust the Ebonfire, and that he trusts his friends, Maz asks “aren’t we your friends, too? We’d never lie to you. We’ve had nothing but prosperity and goof fortune here.” Marven snaps back that they’ll just be killed the moment they aren’t useful.
Neebs asks telepathically where Lorn the Sequel is. Lorn explains that he’s at Neebs Peak. Basile states he can contact anyone at any distance now, and ask to check for any enemies around the area. While there doesn’t seem to be anything out of the ordinary, Lorn the Sequel starts putting up defensive spells.
Aurok tries to explain that Marven ran away, but it’s now safe to return home, and that Pendralar wants him home. Marven says Pendralar doesn’t want him to go back.
At this point, High Prince Rugen adds, as though he completely forgot, that he wants Rhaegar to come down to chat. Rhaegar spits at his hologram, and when Rugen states that Rhaegar has no class, Rhaegar puts a whiny show that pretty much proves he’s right.
The statue continues to rumble, and Marven says if they bring the mountain down he’ll die. However, they simply ask him where Krissa is. Marven tries to talk to Ashisa and can’t hear her. He shouts Pork in dragon and teleports into his lair. The moment he’s gone, Neebs states if the baby is gone then the parlay is off.
Marven goes though his lair and everything seems untouched, but Grape is paralyzed. He finds Ashisa magically put to sleep and Lili is gone. He manages to wake up Ashisa and learns that Krissa took Lili. He relays this to Basile, who in turn tells Neebs. Neebs tells Marven through Basile to take Ashisa to Neebs Peak. Marven makes sure she is safe before teleporting back to the group.
As Rugen as reiterating his demands, Neebs ignores him and talks over him, saying that Neebsenshire is now ruled over by King Daedalus. He vows that he will come to Rugen himself and kill him, and everyone in the Commonwealth, and that war has been declared. Just before the hologram vanishes, Aurok states, “I can’t wait to get to know your daughter, Marven.”
With that, Neebs walks up to the edge of the mountain and dives off like a bird of prey. Marven quickly follows after, and once Lorn casts Mass Flight on everyone, the rest trail after.
The charge down to the 15,000 person army in the valley, with their former King at the front. As soon as he’s close, he casts Dimension Door to teleport himself into the center to begin the attack.
- Neebs cast Haste and Cat’s Grace. He then aims down into the crowd and casts Arrow Storm. A barrage of arrows rain down in a 120 radius, and 192 people die easily. He continues to fly through and cast Arrow Storm, clearing a path of another 192 people.
- Lorn uses Dragon Ally to summon Torque for assistance. In a flash of white, Torque appears and immediately begins to fight. He is a whirlwind of fisticuffs as he barrages in. Lorn then casts Entangling Chain Missile at the Shock Troops. Meanwhile, Rocky uses the Zephyr Blade to cast Stone Skin. His back and feet light on fire and he becomes a Nightmare Rhino.
- The sorcerers riding the wyverns attack Lorn and Neebs, but they’re able to will themselves free of the spells. Below, the army starts shooting arrows up into the air.
- Marven commands his golems to launch themselves off the statue like makeshift cannon balls. While some perish the moment they hit the ground, several crush the crustacean riders of the Ni’euu people. Two dozen gnomes easily die. Grape, who was able to free herself of her paralysis, flies up to attack the wyvern riders. Marven flies overhead and searches for Aurok and Lili. He sees a large concentration of organized forces and larger warriors waiting in the distance.
- Rhaegar, who is riding Grape, commands his orc troops to attack the Commonwealth. Upon seeing Marven flying toward the back where the nobles are located, he and Grape chase after to assist.
- With no fear, Basile flies into the middle of the Commonwealth army and uses his invocation Eldritch Doom. Black hellfire tentacles blast out from around him reach out and skillfully pierce through Rugen’s army, killing forty. Ciaran stays back on the mountain and casts Ice Storm over the Ebonfire army. Hail and snow crash down on them and bludgeon them, slowing them down.
- Alkaid summons three other Alkaid’s from the timestream and uses Reality Bend. She commands Xylander to charge at the Ni’euu army. He zips through their forces easily and rips several to shreds, taking one by the spine and shaking it around until it breaks apart.
- Kass tries to find his old friends Korpi and Maz, seeing if their illusions were cast from someplace nearby. He goes after Marven and Rhaegar and casts Amplify to make his singing louder. He then uses his Dragonfire Inspiration to empower everyone with additional fire damage.
- Neebs Dimension Door’s farther into the army and uses his Arrow Storm. Some of the arrows deflect off an invisible force, but most of the attack pierces through.
- Lorn can see the elite group in the back, and casts Dead Fall to summon a tower of dead logs and branches to collapse on them. A good portion of the soldiers are crushed beneath the trees.
- The sorcerers from above start slinging spells. One of the Alkaid clones turns to stone, and a bolt of lightning chains between Marven, Kass, and Alkaid.
- When Rhaegar catches up to him, Marven uses his Helm of Teleportation. Lorn quickly casts Enlarged Alter Fortune to help Marven stay on target. They appear right above the elite soldiers. Marven sees a large section of palanquins in the middle for the nobles. He activates his Belt of Might Blow and uses the Breath of Pendralar to blow acid on everyone in a sixty foot arc. The breath of five dragons scours the land and burns it all away. A massive crater filled with ash. Only two people were able to evade. The rest of the nobles die.
- Rhaegar uses a new maneuver: Wolf Climbs the Mountain. He jumps off Grape and lands on one of the War Elephants near the front of the elite army. He uses Torch to stab it through the head.
- With a wake of dead bodies around him, Basile rushes further in and uses another Eldritch Doom to explode another 50 people into dust with 96 damage. He then checks in with Lorn Reloaded to check on Neebs Peak, and hears that it’s in peril. Meanwhile, Ciaran casts Locate Creature to try and find Lili, but he can’t sense where she is.
- Alkaid and her other two selves shoot dozens of arrows into the Ebonfire army. Xylander shoots over in a flash of lightning to a gnome riding a Dire Turtle. He takes the feather plumed hat off the gnome to place on his own head, then rips the gnome’s head off. He favors gnomish flesh.
- Critically wounded, Kass starts to retreat a bit and casts Cure Light Wounds on himself.
- Suddenly, two men who appear to be walking on air arrive above everyone. One is a figure in full black plate armor with dual flails. Next to him is a seemingly harmless human. The group recognizes Dick Grayson and Sixty-Six. Sixty-Six raises his hands up and calls to Asmodeous. Dark billowing clouds cover the field and fire rains down from the heavens. Lorn recognizes it as Apocalypse from the Sky. 3/4 of the army is on fire and the area for miles it turning into a wasteland.
- Neebs heads back to town and uses a teleportation portal to go to Neebs Peak, where the main door has been split open by massive ice shards.
- Lorn Free or Die Hard shouts “Thank Kord it’s Monday!” which activates a contingency spell that teleport Lorn and Rocky to him. With his ability to see invisible creatures, Lorn sees a very large, ancient white dragon in the distance. Lorn Free or Die Hard heals Lorn and nopes out of there as Lorn quicken casts Faerie Fire to outline the invisible beast. He then casts Avasculate to drop the dragon’s life to half and to stun him. Then, Rocky charges forward into the dragon.
- Back at the valley, the three armies start to break apart under the onslaught of hell raining down and the associates attacking. Meanwhile, the white dragon pulls out a ring and flings it at Lorn. It spins and slides itself onto Lorn’s finger, and Lorn’s Ring of Spellbattle loses its effects.
- Marven flies up toward one of the men that dodged his attack and asks where Aurok Ebonfire is. When the man says that Rugen and his men left, Marven uses his Draconic Invocation to cast Voidsense on the man. He then pulls out his flail and drops it next to the man’s head. The dogs crave to devour the magic radiating from the man and start to eat him alive.
- Rhaegar borrows the Helm of Teleportation to take him and Marven to Neebs Peak. Marven commands “come” and retrieves his flail. They teleport to into the first floor and see’s Rocky fighting the dragon down the hall.
- Basile flies over to Alkaid so she can teleport them to Neebs Peak. Ciaran, who is closer to Neebsenshire, flies back to use the portal in the well. He appears next to Marven and uses his healing belt to heal Basile.
- Alkaid casts Time Jaunt to teleport them to the waterfall above the main entrance to Neebs Peak.
- Kass casts Cure Critical Wounds and drinks a Cure Light Wounds potion, then uses the teleportation gem in the well to go to Neebs Peak.
- Neebs teleports to the top floor of Neebs Peak to get a better vantage point.
- Rocky casts Remove Curse to try and protect Lorn from the ring, but it doesn’t seem to work. Lorn tries to cast Magic Circle Against Evil, but a scroll of paper and a quill pen appears in front of him. In order to use the spell, he must fill out the papers in triplicate stating why he wants to cast the spell. Lorn takes out his sword and cuts off his fingers. Thanks to all of the boosts from Kass, he manages to do enough damage to his fingers that he dies (about 25+ d6 worth). However, another one of his contingency spells, Revify, activates and his body glows white. He’s brought back to -1 health. This in turn activates a second contingency spell: Heal. His body glows green and is brought back to full health. Now alive, he runs to the back of the hall.
- The dragon blows a blast of ice into the hall, pressing down into the crowd of people inside. Rocky is hit but is fine. However, H’rathen, Xi-Long, and Toxal take a good amount of damage. Regis turns into an icicle, as well as some other non important NPC. The dragon then disappears with Greater Teleport.
Kass gives Lorn a Ring of Regeneration to help his fingers grow back. Ciaran tries to scry for Lili, and when that doesn’t work, Marven demands that he try to scry Aurok and Erzai. Surprisingly, Ciaran is able to scry Aurok. Basile reads Ciaran’s mind, and keeps the image clear in his thoughts for Lorn to see. Lorn then draws it down on a piece of paper for Marven to view. Marven recognizes it as one of the studies inside Ebonfire Keep.
As the group settles and heals up, Lorn pays Torque for helping them fight off the army. Meanwhile, Basile makes sure that his dad is okay, and asks Lorn to tell him what the dragon looked like. Lorn draws the dragon and Basile fears it may be the Frigid Death – the dragon from his hometown.
Before the group is fully ready to continue, Marven teleports everyone to where Ebonfire Keep is located. However, it’s no longer where he remembers it being; the keep moves locations. They return back to Neebsenshire and try to determine how they can find Lili.
Marven goes to Pythos, who is cleaning blood off his hands from the battle, and asks him where Ebonfire Keep is currently located. Pythos agrees to consult his network and meditates. He is able to locate Lili at the Scorched Lands – a wasteland up to the north.
While Neebs stays back to tend to his people, Alkaid and Lorn Greater Teleport the group and Torque to the Scorched Lands. They appear outside a small, dark cave where a Erzai stands alone. In one hand he holds a giant bone club, and tightly gripped in his other hand is Lili.
Basile runs up to try and grab Lili, but as he gets close he hears a loud whistle and becomes hypnotized for a moment. He then snaps out of it and gets slammed in the head with the club.
“Too afraid to get her yourself?” Erzai asks.
- Marven flies up and blows acid, but Erzai breathes acid in return, almost cancelling it out.
- Rhaegar charges forward and slashes at Erzai’s legs. Torch slams into the bone club instead as his attack is skillfully blocked. As he swings again, Erzai uses Lili as a shield and causes Rhaegar to miss.
- Lorn uses his telekinesis to try and pull Lili out of Erzai’s hand, but the orc’s grip is strong. However, Lorn is able to pull at Erzai’s hand as well and knock him off balance.
- Alkaid fires off an arrow that slams into the orc’s shoulder. It doesn’t seem to loosen his grip. Xylander dashes up and grabs the orc by the injured leg and holds onto him.
- Erzai roars in pain and starts to rage. He grabs Xylander by the scruff, throwing him at Lorn. Lorn casts Deflect to help protect himself from Xylander’s body smacking into him.
- After getting steady again, Basile uses his Eldritch Claws to rake Erzai along the back. He grabs onto him by the scales and tries to hold him down.
- Rhaegar turns Torch into a dire flail to try and beat the shit out of him, while Alkaid shoots her ice arrows into his legs.
- Erzai is able to strike Rhaegar in the ribs, but as he continues to be overwhelmed, he swings his club in the air. The whistling stuns everyone long enough so he can get away.
- Lorn opens his mouth and targets his Hoard Gullet. He spit out seventeen chains that turn into spiked chains to link around the orc. Erzai drops Lili to rip off the chains.
- Kass casts Mage Hand to catch Lili and bring her away from the fight.
- Knowing that Lili is now safe, Marven asks if Erzai remembers how he escaped Ebonfire Keep. With that, he plants his wings in the ground and prepares to unleash the Breath of Pendralar. Erzai rushes up to him to attack, but the power of Marven’s breath weapon flings him back. While Erzai is able to use his club to negate much of the damage, his legs are badly burned and he is cripple.
Erzai crawls on the ground, cursing Marven’s name. Basile and Lorn hear nothing but hatred and jealousy in his thoughts, and they learn through his memories that he was nothing but a weapon for the Ebonfire. They then see a man covered in black scales wearing a purple robe. Krissa is kneeling before him, and he smacks her across the face. Erzai is then sent to collect an army to retrieve Marven. The memories switch to Ember: Marven’s sister. She and Erzai plot to kill Marven because they don’t believe him to be worthy of the gifts Pendralar gave him.
Knowing that there is nothing left of this pathetic welp, Marven drops his flail next to Erzai and lets it eat him alive. The orc’s screams turn into those of pain and anguish as he perishes.
With the battle over, Lili is crying and Kass hums lullabies to try and calm her down. Marven searches around the area to calm down before seeing his daughter again. He discovers that the cave is filled with rations and supplies, and is most likely one of the safe houses for the Ebonfire. Lorn casts a Dragon Eye Rune on Lili to make sure that they can find her. When he does so, he finds an amulet around her neck. Marven comes back and examines it and discovers that it magically alter’s a person’s true name to something else. Lorn puts a rune on Marven so he can be tracked if he were to get captured.
Marven observes the club and learns that it has special effects depending on how it’s held. If the small hole on the handle is plugged, it became more deadly and could stun a target. If the hole is unplugged, the enemy may become flatfooted. When twirled in the air, it can hypnotize those in a thirty foot area. He gives it to Rhaegar.
Once he’s calm, he sets Lili on his head so she can chew at his horns and uses his Ring of Communication to let Ashisa know that Lili is safe. The group then returns to Neebsenshire.
Once there, Lorn offers to put a Dragon’s Eye Rune on Ashisa, as well as the rest of the group.
Dick, now calling himself Daedalus, gives an address to the town as the new king and Sixty-Six, his right hand man. He states that their old king is now a general off to fight the enemies who threatened them.
Marven asks Daedalus if he still wants him to be the Hand of the King. Daedalus declines and frees him of the title. Rhaegar is welcomed to join General Neebs on his warpath against the Commonwealth. Rhaegar commands the orcish troops protecting Neebsenshire to collect the dead and loot the bodies.
The group meets with Skor, who is upset to learn that his golems were used in the attack, but brushes it off. Marven asks if Skor has been enjoying his new apprentice. The soul has been made into a warforge and is named Cleff.
The next day Marven calls the group together to suggest that everyone start traveling north now that the Ebonfire, Commonwealth, and Ni’euu know where they are. Lorn agrees if they can stop by a blue dragon’s lair to pick up an item. The group agrees and prepares their trip. Basile tells Levi that it’s time for them to go back home.
Oh, and Lorn reincarnates Regis for Marven and he comes back as a half-orc. He continues to watch over The Lair while they’re away.