This weekend we had planned to play D&D with everyone, but when most of the party wasn’t able to show up, the few who did decided to have a .5 dream sequence session. So, my apologies for the very confusing notes. It was a wild ride to try and keep track of.
- Ciaran (LVL17) and Basile (LVL19)
- Alkaid (LVL19)
- Dwayne (LVL18)
- Rhaegar (LVL19)
- Theoretical Nick, Andy, and Steve
Dwayne wants to show everyone the ways of his people and have a “tournament” of sorts. Rhaegar gets Bubbles to help Dwayne build a coliseum for the tournament to be held. Xylander licks his lips and sees the arrival of gnomes coming into Neebsenshire. In the meantime, Alkaid finds various animals (41 to be exact) to build a zoo in Neebsenshire. The animals include several turtles, a quaggoth, and a displacer beast. Ciaran rides the quaggoth and Basile watches from a distance.
When the coliseum is built, Dwayne shows Xylander the “Art of Making an Entrance” to prepare him for the tournament. He plays music and Xylander is just confused. Dwayne walks down the ramp and uses major image to make it look like the audience is sold out. Xylander’s pupils grow very large as he watches Dwayne toss a towel and pounces on him. Bubbles comes in and separates Dwayne and Xylander. He then creates a frying pan and sets Dwayne in it. Lucy comes in and starts cooking Dwayne, who counter-cooks. Bubbles goes to look for seasonings, but Dwayne has stolen the seasonings. He then seasons Bubbles and starts cooking him. Ciaran sits in the audience and cheers for Bubbles.
With Bubbles handled, Dwayne goes into the arena and calls for his opponent. A team of turtles wearing headbands come in to challenge Dwayne. They bring a cage with them. They start on all fours and then begin walking like people – the teenage mutant magic turtles have arrived. Alkaid finds an egg that one of the turtles and the displacer beast made and Ciaran gets REALLY EXCITED. Basile sits with Ciaran and reads a book.
Dwayne, Lucy and Bubbles attack the turtles. Dwayne casts Gate and an extremely muscular man bench pressing planets appears. Kord decides to stay and sits down next to Basile and asks what he’s reading. “Have you read the story of Ash Crimson? Can you get me an advanced copy?” Basile says he can probably do that.
Alkaid teleports Rhaegar into the ring, but he instead goes into a room with Death Giants and dies. His anger brings him back as a Kobold. He calls upon Ivuram for power and turns into a white dragon Kobold. He then begins to slaughter the giants.
Dwayne flips turtles over until he is able to escape the cage match and wins.
The egg that Alkaid left with Xylander hatches: A displacer turtle with roc wings is born. He comes up behind Dwayne and uses a metal chair to smash into him. Rheagar returns and asks who the hell is talking with Basile. Basile states that it’s Kord, and Kord runs down and smacks Rhaegar across the room. A roc then swoops in and picks up Rhaegar, who attacks with his feet. The roc drops him.
Kord thinks it’s boring and goes to leave, and Basile asks Kord to tell Ioun “fuck you.” Kord shouts through the gate to Ioun that “this Basile kid says ‘fuck you’ and Dwayne gates in Ioun.
The gate opens and they see Ioun inside a library. She looks at them (and hypothetically, Neebs swoops in with a nat 20 and seduces her.) Dwayne casts Time Stop to go hang out with Ioun for a bit. He cooks her baklava.
Dwayne suddenly realizes that clerics commune with gods through dreams and visions, and understands that he ACTUALLY spoke with Kord and Ioun. He then appears in a meadow all alone. A Cheshire gopher appears near Dwayne and says that he’s hungry. Dwayne gives the Ash Crimson book as food, and Basile immediately feels pain and tells Dwayne “DID YOU FEED A BOOK TO A GOPHER?”
He turns around and sees the white dragon (Alkaid in disguise) and blasts her out of fear. Rhaegar says that he’s the white dragon, and Basile blasts him, too. He walks away quickly as he can’t deal with gods and dragons.
Ciaran, who saw Ioun through the gate, attempts to plane shift to see her. He meets Dwayne and learns that he cooked her baklava. Ciaran decides that he will eat nothing but baklava.
SUDDENLY, everyone is sucked into Alkaid’s dream. Everyone appears in front of The Lair, and Alkaid says that they’re going to raid Marven’s lair. Dwayne says he had a crazy dream, and is glad that they’re awake now. Suddenly, Xylander enters with the “purr”fect entrance to music like Dwayne taught him. He then attacks Dwayne.
The group enters Marven’s lair. Dwayne shoots dice with the fire genasi as golems come out and whoop on Xylander. Basile flies past invisibly. Alkaid shoots them with arrows and teleports them into the chess board. The golems join the black team. Rhaegar and Bubbles are rooks, Ciaran is a knight, Lucy is a bishop, and Basile is a queen. Rhaegar keeps bitching and Alkaid teleports him into a room with death giants.
But then Rhaegar decides he doesn’t want to play anymore and puts everything into a stalemate. The opponents suddenly start moving forward and everyone freaks out but Basile decides to take the initiative and starts taking pawns to try and get the king. However, he’s unable to do so before their king is captured. However, the tie is in the parties favor and they move into the next room.
They see the deck of many things on a table. Dwayne picks up one card and gets cursed. He puts it into the door. Rhaegar gives Ciaran ownership of all of his items before he takes two cards from the deck. He gets bonuses to his stats. Basile and Alkaid give Ciaran all their possessions. Tork becomes Alkaid’s enemy, and Xylander gets to level if he defeats an enemy. Basile draws two cards and is able to receive a truthful answer for a question and the ability to erase one event from history. Basile realizes that he must be dreaming. However, he decides to ask how to become immortal. He erases Lorn dying from a tire iron from history and resurrects him.
They enter the next room and see Marven. He slow breaths them and they start to battle. They all attack and kill him, but Basile isn’t upset because it’s just a dream. They take his money and buy a reincarnation scroll to bring back Marven. Basile reads the scroll and Marven comes back as a Halfling.