D&D Session 34

After saving the world from imminent destruction, Neebs and Associates deserve some time to relax! But will their moment of peace last?



  • Ciaran (LVL22) and Basile (LVL24)
  • Marven (LVL 24)
  • Alkaid (LVL 24)
  • Biff (LVL 24)
  • Neebs (LVL 24)

The group returns back to Neebsenshire and head to the Lair to drink and celebrate. Neebs and Marven play chess in the corner. When Neebs loses, they use the chess pieces to  use their actual magical abilities to manipulate. Regis asks Marven if he should collect people from the Bard College to play. Marven doesn’t care but says sure, why not. Basile collects his family and friends to join them at the Lair, and he and Alkaid get shit faced. Biff performs the most legendary triangle ever. Regis returns and brings in a group of Ioun followers to perform Christian Rock music.

H’rathen then walks into the bar with a group of Valkyrie women to beat the shit out of the college musicians. They then demands to drink everything Marven has, and Marven charges them double the price. As Biff’s triangle becomes more annoying, Marven puts on house music. Since all the alcohol is given to the Valkyries, Alkaid summons a copy of herself to go fetch more from Modelheim – ModelHeinekens. Alkaid and her copies drink and get wasted 4x quicker.

H’rathen and his “girlfriends” sit at the bar and start asking Basile if he has any existential crises that he needed to talk about. H’rathen starts asking Basile if he needs help picking up women, despite him sitting right next to Eyrene, and Basile has to awkwardly explain that he doesn’t need any help. H’rathen continues to press if he’s ever been with anyone intimately or if he wants children. Basile continues to drink away his embarrassment as his brothers tease him for being a virgin and for not wanting children.

In the meantime, Neebs is interested in H’rathen’s “girlfriends” and learns that Kord sent them to H’rathen for and they are too strong and he won’t survive. H’rathen quietly begs for their help to out drink the Valkyries. Neebs gathers Marven’s help to win a drinking contest. Ciaran volunteers, but Basile tells him no. When H’rathen starts mocking followers of Ioun, Judah stands up and tries to defend him but Basile yells at him to sit back down. Marven gathers Goa’wei to be the fourth contestant alongside Biff, Marven, and Neebs.

  • Marven and Brinhilda slam back tankards and Marven manages to finish hers, as she passes out drunk. Marven finishes her drink.
  • Biff attempts to convince Eir to not drink against him, but she’s only move excited to drink to the death. Biff attempts to sleight of hand the drink down his shirt, but she catches him. He attempts to drink but isn’t able to beat her.
  • Goa’wei goes next against Herja, but he’s unable to keep up with the Valkyrie. He’s unable to pillage, and Regis drags Goa’wei away.
  • Neebs comes up to the bar, and instead of drinking he starts to hit on Sigrum. After she completes two drinks, he drinks everything in a single chug. He then asks how she feels about a ménage à trois. Sigrum passes out.
  • Since there is a tie, H’rathen has to drink against someone else. Basile offers to drink against him, but he’s already drunk. Ciaran offers to drink against H’rathen, and uses his Twin Soul with Basile to make his fortitude stronger. As they start drinking, H’rathen distracts the women and then makes himself vomit and pretend to pass out. Ciaran drinks just enough to “win” and then uses prestidigitation to make the drink look empty.

The Valkyries then leave. but not without animating the tables and chairs to clean up the mess. With them gone, H’rathen thanks them for saving him and wishes them farewell as they continue on their dangerous adventures. He then gives Neebs the Valkyries number, and Neebs punches him in the face in thanks. They punch each other like best friends.

When H’rathen leaves, Biff follows him to talk to Kord with him. Biff heals him, and H’rathen is upset that his bruises are gone and he asks everyone to come punch him. They all do, and Neebs gets him last.

They go back to the Lair and rejoin the Addlers to continue drinking. Basile starts drinking water, and Alkaid downs a Holy Water. It doesn’t help her sober up, since it was blessed ale that Dwayne made.

That night everyone goes back to their homes. Biff charges a witchlight reservoir with moonlight. Neebs goes to Neebs Peak and tells his warriors that it’s likely he’s going to die. He convinces Jennifer to agree to an orgy by saying he has a bucket list he wants to complete. He calls the Valkyries and summons Gluilar and he nearly dies in the process. Xylander drags Alkaid back to their tent to sleep. Basile is still tipsy and demands to stay in his own room, even though Eyrene is staying there. They stay the night together and Basile spills out his feelings for Eyrene before immediately backtracking and saying it’s not start to get close to him because people he cares about tend to get hurt. Marven cleans up his bar and then starts to do research on where Ember might be in his basement.

Shortly after, a loud shattering noise echoes through Neebsenshire. Alkaid and Biff see a stream of light smash into the Temple of Ioun. Basile wakes up to see a very pissed off Ember in his room glaring at him.

  • Neebs is in the middle of his orgy and realizes he made a mistake and tries to flee, but all of the women drag him back in for more.
  • Ember shoots a line of acid at Basile, screaming that he killed “him.” It’s not difficult to assume she meant Mara. She then casts Slay Living on Basile. He manages to survive the spell for the moment.
  • Marven is unable to locate Ember despite her literally being in town and continues to do research.
  • Despite his splitting headache from being hungover, Basile manages to send a message to Marven saying “FUCK, EMBER’S IN MY ROOM I’M DYING HELP ME.” He gives Eyrene is anklet’s of translocation to get out of the room and flee. He then shoots two blasts of hellfire at Ember as Eyrene leaves.
  • Biff casts Time Stop to rush to the Temple of Ioun. Alkaid, who’s unaffected by the spell, summons more versions of herself and then teleports into the Temple of Ioun. Biff then casts Inflame the Rightetous on himself and Alkaid. Alkaid casts Owl’s Wisdom on herself.
  • Neebs opens the door to a secret sex room and everyone goes inside.
  • Ember sprouts wings and a tail and attacks Basile. As she bites him, he casts hellfire shield to attack back. She continues to claw and swipe at him until he succumbs to his woulds and dies. She then turns on Alkaid and casts Maze to banish her away.
  • After hearing Basile’s cry for help, Marven goes to a carved map on his floor and teleports into Basile’s bedroom. He then uses his Belt of use his Battle to Breath of Pendralar on Ember.
  • With Basile dead, Ciaran uses his Amulet of Emergency Healing to bring Basile back to life. He scrambles to his feet to get his deathward armor on and activates his Twin Soul to protect himself. He’s low key annoyed that his death brought him back to the black abyss and he still doesn’t know where he will go should he die for good.
  • Biff attempts to cast Melody of the Secret Chord on Ember, but she is able to resist her alignment changing. He activates his Belt of Battle to cast Instill Dread.
  • Alkaid is trapped in the maze and starts to feel claustrophobic. She starts running through the maze in a panic. Two others flee, but one other Alkaid manages to escape the maze.
  • Neebs hears Eyrene’s voice in his head saying that Basile is being attacked, and Neebs tumbles out of the pile of women and Dimension Doors to his Wizard Tower in town completely naked. He looks out and spots Ember at the damaged Temple of Ioun.
  • Ember drinks a chalice of souls and transforms into a demonic monster, taking on the form of a ram-horned demon and a winged bird demon. She grows a second set of arms that wield a pick axe and a great sword. She turns and attacks at Biff and Marven, and casts Disintegrate at Marven. He vanishes into dust, thinking, “Oatmeal!” as Biff’s fire shield hurts Ember further.
  • Ciaran immediately uses his Amulet of Second Chances to bring Marven back to life. Unfortunately, Alkaid returns to the maze and Neebs is back in the sex pit.
  • Biff attempts to cast Melody of the Secret Chord, and forces her to change her alignment to neutral. He then backs out of the room.
  • The same Alkaid manages to escape the maze, and Neebs manages to get back to his tower. He then uses his Knowledge Devotion on Ember as he lands.
  • Although she’s neutral, she wills herself to move forward with her transformation. With Biff out of the room, she attacks Basile and Marven, who disintegrates again.
  • Basile grabs his glaive and swings it at Ember, slashing into her as Ciaran casts Lesser Restoration on himself to heal Basile further. Basile then backs out of the room through the hole in the wall.
  • Biff runs up to Ember and casts Temporal Stasis, but she avoids the attack. He then runs out of the room again.
  • Two more Alkaid’s escape the maze, and the first one that escaped fires several shots at Ember to deal 700 damage.
  • Neebs studies Ember further and takes aim. He casts Shivering Touch through his bow and fires twelve arrows. The cold damage causes her to freeze up and crumble with 83 dexterity damage.

As Neebs comes over, Basile gives him a cloak to wear to cover himself. Neebs decides not to take the cloak and instead gathers Marven’s belongings so he can have blackmail to get into Marven’s lair. He then takes his bow and places it on the ground, and after ten minutes, a True Resurrection spell is cast to bring Marven back to life. Basile gives him the cloak, which he doesn’t take either. The other Alkaid returns from the maze. Neebs gives Marven a contract to promise to let him past the chess board, but the contract says that Marven’s title would become Neebs’. Marven burns the contract and slows Neebs as he tries to fly away with all of his gear. He returns to his ladies.

Biff takes all of Ember’s items and leaves to knock on H’rathen’s door. Biff presents the heart of the demon to H’rathen and is let inside. Marven follows behind angrily and demands to be left inside. H’rathen tells Biff to give whatever items Marven wants back to him. Marven says he wants the chalice.

Alkaid is shell shocked as Ciaran attempts to mend the Temple if Ioun as best as he could. Marven returns and tries to give Alkaid a necklace that can teleport her to another member of Neebs and Associates in danger, then he realizes that he has no items. Alkaid and Marven teleport to Neebs Peak to get Marven’s items back and arrive in Neebs’ bedroom.

They witness Neebs’s room destroyed and a path to a dark room. Marven walks into the chamber and see Jennifer is curled up in the corner drinking Gatorade. Gluilar is on the bed with a riding crop in her hand. Tied up and blindfolded in front of her are the Valkyries, who are sitting on Neebs. He’s wearing Marven’s armor. Marven goes to grab his stuff but Neebs Dimension Doors over to Jennifer. Gluilar attempts to make a deal, and Marven uses Geass on Neebs to force him to return his items. In return, he will take Neebs through the lair.

At the Temple of Kord, Biff is kneeling with a blindfold, and H’rathen smacks him with a riding crop on the back, stating it’s how he needs to commune with Kord. As the connection is made, Biff hears Kord say, “I DON’T CARE WHOEVER THE FUCK THIS IS, STOP HIM.” Biff realizes that something really bad is happening and asks what’s happening. Kord tells him to look outside and the connection breaks. H’rathen says that he has to go and needs to save his spells and peaces out.

At that moment, Alkaid and Marven go to the middle of the town. Marven gives Alkaid the necklace, and says he liked her best because she’s quiet. He then slices himself with the dagger to pour blood into the chalice. He takes the black egg/seed and pours the blood on it. Roots start sprouting out into the earth and eldritch light spews into the air. A portal of darkness opens above them and the mortal plane is turned into a swampy marsh. A carcass of a massive dragon falls onto the ground, and its eyes light up as Marven shudders and collapses. The dragon gets up and flies away as swamp zombies rise from the ground.

Alkaid summons her Rocs as she feels her connection to her spells lost thanks to the necklace Marven gave her. She rips off her glove and her magic comes back. The necklace is stuck to her glove with a sticky salve. Marven wakes up and gets to his feet and calls upon his armor. He attempts to find the seed but is unable to. He then shouts out loudly to call all the members of Neebsenshire to join him.

Meanwhile, Basile is visiting his family to make sure they’re okay after the attack. He apologies profusely for the danger he put them in and sees the world falling under another apocalypse. Upon hearing Marven, he takes them to him. Marven opens up a portal to Ebbonfire Keep but it’s also a swampland. Everyone in town starts filing into the Lair for safety instead.

Basile asks Marven what the hell happened. Marven explains that he was possessed by Pendralar, who took him over to complete the quest to bring the Eternal Bog into the Mortal Plane. He states that he had been trying to call out for help but no one could seem to hear him. Basile apologies for not realizing something was wrong sooner, since he doesn’t actively listen to his thoughts.

As they try to figure out what to do next, Marven tells the story of a golden dragon named Velerax who was enemies with Pendralar. He had an army of followers called the Amber Flame. Despite his efforts, Velerex was eventually defeated by Pendralar’s minions and killed. The last of the Amber Flame was his father, Dakken, who eventually joined Pendralar and was given the black dragon’s blood as a reward. The dragon egg, which was actually a seed, needed to be planted and infused with the blood of Pendralar in order to bring the Eternal Bog to the material plane.

Biff apologies to Marven, stating that he didn’t want to give up the chalice, but Marven assured Biff that he’s a good ally to have because Pendralar doesn’t know him. Biff divides up the weapons and gold from Ember to the group, and gives Marven the great sword which they name The Annulment.

In the meantime, Basile tells Ciaran to fetch the Heart of Mechanus from Rhaegar. Ciaran does so as he says, “Gotta borrow this real quick! Doing the thing you and Basile discussed!” Basile quickly determines how to use the relic (with a nat 20) to manipulate a Scroll of True Resurrection he purchased ot bring himself back in an emergency. With it, he brings Pythos back to life in a swirling vortex of golden light as the heart vanishes.

Shocked that he’s alive, Pythos asks what has happened. Basile explains everything that occurred since his death and asks if he can gather more information from the universe about the Amber Flame. Unfortunately, being erased from time severed his connection to the universe and he can’t gather more information. However, Pythos is able to inform Marven to not eat the heart of the demon that Biff pulled out of his bag. Marven really wants to eat it, but chooses not to. Pythos states that it should be destroyed with a cold iron weapon. Basile asks Eyrene is she has anything made of cold iron, and she happens to have a dagger (another nat 20 #bless). They use it to destroy the heart. The group rests and plans for their next steps as undead swamp men try to break in, but the Lair is secured well and everyone is safe for now.






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