LIFE: Meet Oxford!

A few weeks back, my friend’s father passed away. He left behind a five year old cat who desperately needed a home. Eddie and I offered to foster her until a home could be found – which ended up taking only a week. However, during that week, Eddie and I fell in love with having a pet in the house and were dying to have another.

Initially, we had made a promise to not look into adoption until after the wedding. We didn’t want to worry about having a cat-sitter during the honeymoon. But I couldn’t help myself from looking up pets on petfinder and finding the most precious kitten. We took the initiative to arrange a meeting and knew that he was the one.

Needless to say, we now have a new member in our household! Meet Oxford – named after the oxford comma, of course.

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He is an extremely rambunctious twelve week old kitten. All he wants to do all day is play with his hamburger, laser pointer, and feather. His favorite place in the house is underneath the rocking chair in the den, but he’s not afraid to leap up onto the bed or couch. He is very friendly and not at all shy, unlike my other two cats that live at my parents. I’m glad to know that I have a sociable and cuddly cat who will only grow more loving over the years.

The one thing I was only semi-prepared for was the amount of work it takes to care for him. He gets fed three times a day, constantly attacks our hands to play, and keeps us up all night wanting to cuddle. It’s like having a baby, but without the crying. However, I’m more than happy to get through the kitten phase if it means having a cat in our household for the next 20 years.

You can stay up to date on Oxford over at my Instagram.

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D&D Session 28

It’s been a long time since we last played D&D, and it will be a long time until we play again (at least until after Eddie and I return from our honeymoon) so we wanted to squeeze in one last session. We finally faced the Ebonfire, and it was one hell of a fight!

SESSION 28

Players:

  • Ciaran (LVL17) and Basile (LVL19)
  • Lorn (LVL19)
  • Marven (LVL19)
  • Rhaegar (LVL 19)
  • Alkaid (LVL 19)
  • Neebs (LVL 18)
  • Kass (LVL 18)

The group continues toward Castle Ebonfire, and Lorn senses that something is going to be teleporting into their area. Lorn casts Magic Circle Against Evil and Bite of the Werebear. Neebs casts Cat’s Grace, while Basile activates his Fell Flight and Ciaran casts Protection Devotion to Ioun. Alkaid activates Displacement and Blur on her armor. Rheagar uses Lions Roar and Kass starts to sing to embolden the group. Marven prepares to use his Breath of Pendralar on the first enemy that appears.

  • Lorn additionally casts Rhino’s Rush and Deathward, and Rocky waits to charge into the first enemy that appears.
  • Neebs casts Haste.
  • Basile begins his Fiendish Resilience and Ciaran casts Cunning Insight.
  • Suddenly, three fiendish creatures with scarlet skin and gray wings appear around the group. Rocky charges immediately, and Marven unleashes his breath on another one. However, they are immune to the acid breath.
  • The creatures start swinging with their great swords at Marven, Rheagar, and Neebs’ raptor – Torrin. Rhaegar is able to counter attack one of the swings, but is still hit twice as the creature is surrounded in a yellow shield. Marven only gets hit twice, and the creature fighting him also gets a yellow shield. As Torrin starts to be attacked, Lorn casts Solarity to create a Wall of Force to protect him. He then releases his Heart of the Unicorn and teleports 300 feet away from the battle. In response, the creature casts Greater Dispel Magic to try and get rid of the Wall of Force but fails. It changes its mind and starts to smack at Alkaid, shielding itself in a white glow. Due to her blur and displacement she is only hit twice. Two of the creatures then quicken a Wall of Force to stop Rocky and an Area of Greater Dispel Magic on Rhaegar.
  • Alkaid moves to get on top of Xylander, then shoots off nine arrows and makes a critical. Lorn casts Instant Power several times to help Alkaid hit more. The arrows slice through and shoots off their wings and wings as they die. Xylander then dashes away with Alkaid.
  • Rhaegar begins hacking away at the creature in front of him.
  • Marven uses his Great Maw of Marven to steal one of the creature’s supernatural abilities. However, it doesn’t seem to work. Instead he drinks a Cure Serious Wounds potion. The creature swings at him again.
  • Kass uses his Scream Bow to shoot, but misses.
  • Lorn casts Reaving Dispel, getting rid of the Wall of Force to allow Rocky to attack. He shoulders his spikes into the creature and rips it apart as it sizzles and boils. Lorn then looks at the last one and says, “We don’t have to be enemies! We can make a deal.”
  • Neebs recognizes the creatures as a Concordant Killers, neither holy or fiendish creatures. He fires off twelve arrows to deal 500+ damage to trip him with Bigby’s Tripping Hand. Instead he just dies because he only had 4HP left.

Lorn makes a big bowl of soup to feed Alkaid and Marven to heal them, and pokes Rhaegar with his wand. As everyone recovers, Lorn stores Splinter Bolt into Rocky’s horn and Rhaegar’s sword. Alkaid summons a cow for Marven to cook to feed to Torrin. They then continue to make their way through the swamp.

After some more walking, they come upon a silvery portal where Linx is waiting. He assures them that the deal is still on and slips through the portal. The group follows through and find themselves in a luscious field of grass. An opulent looking manor is in the distance, and a path leading up to Castle Ebonfire. A mix of humans, elves, gnomes, and dwarves wearing black robes waiting for them. They state that Marven’s mother is expecting them.

The group follows the servants into the castle, which is by far the most lavish building they’ve ever been in. Everyone is given an individual room and butler. Rocky wants to eat grilled purple worm and talks in an accent. Lorn discovers that the servants are fluent in many languages and tests them before taking a nap.

Rhaegar asks why everyone was given their own room, and why they serve the Ebonfire. The servant is a fanatic for the family. Rhaegar wants to speak to the man that can remove a curse off him. The servant says that Aurok can, and he asks Basile to ask Marven if it’s true. Basile tiredly sends the message to Marven, who says “he’s going to die screaming.” Basile tells Rhaegar no.

Alkaid orders extremely rare Shalan dish for herself, and to bring “gnome” for Xylander. Her servant states that she already has gnome, and she’s horrified. She asks for a white dragon egg, and they bring her a scrambled egg. She clarified that she wants a live, uncooked dragon egg. They bring a cracked egg in a glass. When she clarifies she wants an egg that can hatch, he says that don’t have that and bows his head as though he is accepting death for failure.

Kass names his servant Morgan and asks if he likes scarves. He weaves the servant a scarf. The servant makes sure to not cover his servant’s collar.

Basile and Ciaran stay in one room, and Ciaran orders tons of desserts and snacks to Basile’s dismay. He tests them on their donut selection.

Marven asks to meet his parents, but they are not available at the moment. He asks about Ember, and for a moment his servant looks disgusted. The servant explains that there had been many missions to bring Marven home.

Torrin and Neebs stay into the same room, and Neebs asks for strippers, monkey hanging from the ceiling, and the real Zephyr Blade or Sadius. When the servant is distracted, he screams “INVISIBLE” and turns invisible. He heads towards Lorn’s room, and the servants start searching for Neebs. He sees the escorts arriving, and struggles to stay on his “mission.” He tear rolls down his cheek as he passed them.

When he finds Lorn’s room, he knocks on the door. When the door opens, he dimension hops into the room, then dimension hops the servant outside of the room, then closes the door. They hear the servant yell “someone is attacking the guests!” Similacrum Lorn says that they’re fine, then wakes up real Lorn. Real Lorn puts a Wall of Force on the door, then darkness around them all. Lorn casts rope trip on themselves to hide, as Lorn 2.0 Lorn pretends to be asleep. When the guards come in, Lorn 2.0 bluffs to try and say that everything is fine, but he’s awful at it. He tries to say that it was Sbeen. Lorn casts Major Image to have “Neebs” appear in the hallway. Neebs takes out his thought bottle, and Lorn asks what that is. Neebs says that he found his memories.

After an hour, the guards come to retrieve everyone except Lorn. Lorn 2.0 “wakes up,” tells his servant that he wants to join the others, and meets them. The group is led into a dark antichamber lined with torches. Marven’s mother, Yulia, dressed in white and gold, sits in the room. She is genuinely happy to see Marven. Next to her is Aurok, who looks more tired than the last time they saw him. He also has a massive scar across his face. She informs Aurok to go give Linx his spoils for bringing Marven back, and offers to reward the others.

Lorn realizes that their thoughts can be projected within the room, and he mind blanks Neebs and himself. Marven asks if Linx informed her of his return, and she states that he said Marven wanted to take his place on the throne. Marven agrees, and she asks if he will marry Krissa – not Ember. Marven tries to convince her to allow his friends to stay, but she wants them to leave. As she speaks to Marven, Rhaegar, Kass, Ciaran, and Alkaid start think that she’s fine. Basile, Neebs, Rocky, Lorn, and Marven don’t get this feeling.

Yulia notices that Neebs is an illusion, and Lorn 2.0 says that the ending was spoiled, “Neebs was a ghost the whole time.” She doesn’t believe him, and asks a servant to bring seven collars for Marven’s friends to wear. Marven asks if Pendralar is there, and he speaks. Yulia is thrilled at hearing her god’s voice echo in the room. Pendralar commands to destroy them all. Lorn shouts, “Signal!”

  • Yulia casts Greater Spell Immunity and Sanctuary on herself, and the group hears a small angry roar from Pendralar. She then casts Euphoric Tranquility, windwalks to Rocky, and touches his horn. However, as Rocky is mind-blanked, the effects don’t work.
  • Lorn leaps out of Similorn, then casts Empowered Reaving Dispel on Yulia. He steals her Sanctuary, Great Magic Vestments, Windwalk, Deathward and Freedom of Movement. He uses his Belt of Battle to cast it again to steal her Great Spell Immunity. Rocky then attacks, but she’s able to dodge as if she saw it coming. Lorn 2.0 creates a Wall of Force around himself and Lorn.
  • Neebs pops out of Similorn and flies into the air. He then casts Shout through his bow to shoot the four guards, the ground under them, and the ceiling above them. While his arrows deflect off the guards, the ground cracks beneath them and the ceiling crumbles onto them.
  • Basile runs between Yulia and two of the guards and uses his Eldritch Doom. Ciaran then uses Divine Focus to cast Tychee’s Touch on himself.
  • Marven blows slow breath on two other guards and Yulia. Only Yulia isn’t affected by his breath. He then uses his Great Maw of Marven to try and steal her oracle abilities to see the future. Rocky uses his Bards of Retribution to force Yulia to fail the will save, allowing Marven to steal her scry bonus. He commands Goa’wei to breathe lightning into the two guards Basile attacked. As they’re attempting to crawl out, the lightning tasers them until they die.
  • Rhaegar commands Bubbles to block the door, preventing other guards from entering. Rhaegar then uses Ancient Mountain Hammer and attacks Yulia. He then uses his Belt of Battle, Strike of Perfect Clarity. He showers her with crits with Lorn’s help of Instant Power. Howver, she’s able to dodge half of the blows to survive.
  • Aurok opens the door, and huge metallic wings sprout from his back. He points his hand out, and a giant acid orb flies out through Bubbles. He then flies up into the air and attacks Neebs. For a moment, Neebs feels like his blood is boiling, but he’s able to shake it off.
  • Krissa enters the room and pulls out her crossbow and aims. She blows into a horn into her crossbow, and an arrow of cold blasts into Lucy and makes her vanish. She does the same with Alkaid, Neebs, and Lorn. She’s only able to strike Lorn.
  • Kass starts singing, as Alkaid activates the Displacement on her armor. She starts shooting arrows at Krissa as Lorn casts Solarity and casts Bane on her bow to make it a Dragon Bane bow.
  • The guards pulled themselves out of the holes that they were in, while Yulia casts Wavess of Ecstacy. Lorn counterspells her.
  • Similorn holds up a blank spell book in front of Lorn as he casts spells, filling it up magically. Lorn quicken casts Haste on everyone, then uses his Circlet of Rapid Casting to make Kass invisible. He then casts Bite of the Wear Bear on Rocky, who charges into Yulia.
  • Neebs fired off dozens of arrows with Maximized Disintegrate at Aurok. He deals 2,114 damage, as the arrows eat away at his body. As he attempts to repair and reduce the damage, but he can’t keep up and vanishes. All that is left is an emaciated husk of a man collapses and turns to dust.
  • Basile activates his eldritch claws and slashes Yuria into ribbons, dealing 244 damage. Ciaran casts Sanctuary on himself.
  • Marven toward the exit and faces Krissa, blowing sleep breath. She’s able to shake it off.
  • Rhaegar runs up to Marven and uses his Lightning Throw. Krissa crushes a red gem on her necklace and dodges the attack. Lorn responds by casting Solarity and Dimensional Anchor on her.
  • The ceiling brakes open, and everyone suddenly gets a sense of fear wash over them as Marven’s father, Dakken, enters the room. He slams into Neebs and drives him into the ground. He pins Neebs to the ground, rips off his wings and head. Rhaegar recognizes the attack as a Fearl Death Blow Manuever. Dakken looks human, but covered in black scales with glowing golden dragon claws. However, Rhargar sees that Dakken is a Kobold. He then flies up and casts Hell Ball. Four balls appear around him: firey red, crackling yellow, oozing green acid, and a whirlwind of sound. He smacks his hands together, and the balls slam together and burst outward. Ciaran and Lorn cast Solarity, allowing them to cast Dimension Door to get Kass, Xylander, and Alkaid out before the attack. Marven, Rhaegar, Basile, and Goa’wei.
  • Kass uses his Scream Bow to attack the final guard in the room. He shoots an arrow directly into the guard’s helmet and slams through his eye. Then the sonic boom blows off his head.
  • Alkaid summons three other Alkaid’s to fly after Krissa and fire at her. They surround her and state, “I’m the only bad bitch here.” Krissa is turned into a pin cushion.
  • Lorn casts Nature’s Avatar and Evasculate as Rocky charges. Dakken casts Solarity, Wall of Force. Lorn casts Solarity, Greater Dispel, which Dakken Epic Counter Spells. Before Rocky runs into the wall, Lorn tells him to teleport instead.
  • Ciaran uses his healing belt to heal Basile as he flies up into the air to aim over the wall of force to blast him.
  • Marven sees Dakken pulls out his Vorpal Sword and flies at him. Goa’wei joins him and they use coordinated attacks. While Dakken blocks most of the attacks, but Goa’wei is able to strike him.
  • Rhaegar refreshes his maneuvers and drinks a potion.
  • Dakken – who looks completely manic – turns and jams his claws through Goa’wei’s body, ripping off his wing and biting his head off. He then moves to cast Vengeful Gaze of God on Rocky, who gores him in response. For a moment, Dakken looks like Pendralar, and Rocky states, “I’m sorry, Marven.” After 1,000+ damage, Rocky disintegrates. Dakken’s eyes explode out of his head, leaving him with bloody streaks and gaping sockets.
  • Kass flies up near Basile and shoots with his scream bow at Dakken.
  • Alkaid and her clones fire off 14 arrows into Dakken.
  • Lorn opens his mouth and spews out 23 chains, and Similorn recites spells written in the Tomb of the Wyrm.
  • Basile blasts two more times, as Ciaran casts Virtue on himself to give Basile some additional HP.
  • Marven pulls out the scroll Lorn gave him for his wedding – the images of all of his deceased friends flash in his mind as he starts reading off the spell. He unleashes a Maximized, Linger, and Empowered Breath of Pendralar. The scroll duplicates the damage as sonic type damage. His father is forced back into the wall of force, the chains around him ripping off his arms. He is forced into the wall and bisected.

A small silvery wisp of energy shoots into Marven, forcing him to contract the Ravenous Disorder. The more he eats, the stronger his breath weapon. However, his disorder will cause him to snap and eat uncontrollably. He must eat food equal to his bodyweight or his body will eat himself from the inside out.

Marven is compelled to eat Dakken, but resists and puts his body into the bag of holding. Lorn feeds Marven a bear. The group loots the bodies and collect their spoils. Lorn true resurrects Rocky. Neebs’ bow casts True Resurrection to bring Neebs back to life, and he shouts “Pendralar” and has his armor returned to him. They then go to the vault and find that most of it is empty. There is a note with a dagger saying, “I already took my share. Thanks! – Linx” The group is left with 1,752 gold pieces, 10,600 platinum pieces, and various gems to split between them. They then go to Aurok’s lab and take all of his supplies. However, they’re unable to find the decanter of Pendralar’s blood.

Marven calls in all of the Ebonfire staff into the throne room. He states that he is the Baron of Ebonfire Keep, and tells everyone that he can leave if they’d like. He calls upon one slave, whom he names “Number One” and asks who has visited the castle in the past. Number One states that two dragons come to pay respects, as well as a devil named Caasimolar, who called himself the President of Hell, who corrupted Ember. Other slaves come in to tell Marven mundane updates about the castle. He then updates the location of the portal to Castle Ebonfire to be within the basement of The Lair.

The group returns to Neebsenshire to sell their spoils to Xi-Long. Marven resurrects Goa’wei, and Lorn purchases a rust colored Bag of Tricks to feed Marven three ferrets a day to satiate his hunger.

 

 

ART: Open Commissions

Be More Chill is coming back to Broadway. 

Since this is one of my favorite musicals, I am dying to go see it. The trouble is that it’s only coming back in August and September this year in NYC and I am strapped for cash. My upcoming wedding is bleeding me dry and I can’t afford to take a weekend trip that will easily cost around $600. However, I am not one to give up on an opportunity. To earn extra money on the side, I’m opening up commissions indefinitely in hopes that I may be able to afford this trip and have an awesome birthday gift for myself.

If you would be interested in supporting my endeavors and buying some commissions, all of the information that you’ll need is provided below!

WHAT I’LL DRAW: 
Bullet; BlueOriginal Characters
Bullet; BlueFanart
Bullet; BlueCrossovers
Bullet; BluePairings

HOW YOU’LL PAY:
Bullet; BluePaypal

Shoot me an e-mail at danicojo69@hotmail.com with the title COMMISSION REQUEST and let me know what you want. It’s that simple. Hope to draw for you soon!

Commissions

LIFE: Hunchback of Notre Dame

My cousin Jake is currently in middle school, but he did so well in his school’s play of Alice in Wonderland, the high school invited him to take part in their rendition of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. He was cast as one of the gargoyles in the bell tower, and had quite a few moments where he sang and spoke. I’d argue that he was one of the lead gargoyles, but maybe I’m biased since he’s my cousin.

The show overall was very well done, and I’m proud of the talents that these kids had. The students who played as Quasimodo, Esmerelda, Phebus, and Frollo had outstanding voices and acting skills. The supporting cast also had their moments to shine as they each had their own solo singing moments during certain songs. The set was minimal but well done, and the story kept true to the book. It was a very mature production, and it didn’t feel like a high school musical (no pun intended) at all.

I’m very excited to see what productions they put on next, and am happy to share some of the photos that I took of this show.

And yes, if you think that my cousin is familiar, you probably recognize him as the hurricane tortilla kid. You can check out his videos over at his youtube channel. He puts out a wide variety of content, including challenge videos, skits, and vlogs.

 

LIFE: Bridal Shower

This weekend, Eddie and I held our bridal shower. We’re both very blessed at the turnout of friends and family who were able to celebrate our upcoming wedding with us.

My aunt was kind enough to offer her house to us for the party, and decorate the basement with blue and orange balloons and streamers. My family cooked a huge buffet of Polish food in honor of my family heritage. We served golumpki (stuffed cabbage), sauerkraut and kielbasa, pierogis (both traditional and unique) and cheesy potatoes. We also has salad, pasta salad, and fried chicken for those who weren’t as inclined for the non-American meal options. Then of course we had our dessert table, where we had cupcakes in the shape of a wedding dress, butter tarts, and cookies.

As guests arrived, they were welcome to go to the bar to get a drink, guess how many Hershey kisses were in the jar, and set their gifts on the table to be opened later. Once everyone had taken their seats, we thanked them for coming and proceeded with lunch.

While everyone ate, Eddie and I revealed that there were already some winners in the crowd and told the guests to check under their seats. Twelve lucky people won free candles that were decorating the tables. We then revealed the winner of the kisses, which turned out to be my aunt who guessed it exactly – 212.

As everyone finished up, we went into the next game to see who knew us better. We asked questions such as “who takes longer showers” and “who is in control of the remote?” We actually had a tie of 11/12 correct answers, so we had to do a tie breaker with “who had the most pets growing up?” It seemed that everyone had a fun time with that game.

At the end of the party, it was time to open gifts. To keep everyone engaged, we let them play bingo by guessing what we would get. We took time to reach everyone’s card, unwrap every gift, and thank them individually. I must say, we were quite spoiled and blessed for everything that we had received.

Overall, it was a very successful party and it seems like everyone had fun! There were a couple of people who were unable to make it, and we keep getting random gifts delivered to our doorstep. We are very blessed during this time and can’t say thank you enough for the well wishes and kind thoughts.

D&D Session 27

Since last week didn’t turn out well for D&D, we got together to play this week! I was very pleased with how everything went (although, I still feel the desire to write out some of the behind the scenes RP between Basile and his family.) It’s been a while since I last wrote something. I might just have to do that…

SESSION 27

Players:

  • Ciaran (LVL16) and Basile (LVL18)
  • Lorn (LVL18)
  • Marven (LVL18)
  • Rhaegar (LVL 18)
  • Alkaid (LVL 18)
  • Neebs (LVL 18)

With Ivuram’s lair before them, the group collect the spoils of their battle (including Dwayne’s old body) and slowly make their way into the cave. They fly down into the chasm several hundreds of feet. At the bottom, they see a mist floating over the floor.  Basile can detect that it’s magic, but can’t figure out what it is.

Alkaid summons a sheep and drops it into the mist. It hits the mist and the group stops hearing the cry of the sheep. Ciaran casts Gust of Wind to blast through the mist, and the group shoots through before the mist closes – but they get the feeling that something is in the mist wanting to eat them.

They reach the bottom of the pit, and see the blackened and frozen sheep carcass on the floor. The ground seems to be a sheet of ice, there are several tunnels within the walls of ice, and there is a huge waterfall near the back. The pool of water appears to be magical, that Ciaran recognizes it as an evocation. Rhaegar suggests bottling some of the water to check out later. As they approach, they sense the temperature drop.

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D&D SESSION 26.5

This weekend we had planned to play D&D with everyone, but when most of the party wasn’t able to show up, the few who did decided to have a .5 dream sequence session. So, my apologies for the very confusing notes. It was a wild ride to try and keep track of.

Players:

  • Ciaran (LVL17) and Basile (LVL19)
  • Alkaid (LVL19)
  • Dwayne (LVL18)
  • Rhaegar (LVL19)
  • Theoretical Nick, Andy, and Steve

Dwayne wants to show everyone the ways of his people and have a “tournament” of sorts. Rhaegar gets Bubbles to help Dwayne build a coliseum for the tournament to be held. Xylander licks his lips and sees the arrival of gnomes coming into Neebsenshire. In the meantime, Alkaid finds various animals (41 to be exact) to build a zoo in Neebsenshire. The animals include several turtles, a quaggoth, and a displacer beast. Ciaran rides the quaggoth and Basile watches from a distance.

When the coliseum is built, Dwayne shows Xylander the “Art of Making an Entrance” to prepare him for the tournament. He plays music and Xylander is just confused. Dwayne walks down the ramp and uses major image to make it look like the audience is sold out. Xylander’s pupils grow very large as he watches Dwayne toss a towel and pounces on him. Bubbles comes in and separates Dwayne and Xylander. He then creates a frying pan and sets Dwayne in it. Lucy comes in and starts cooking Dwayne, who counter-cooks. Bubbles goes to look for seasonings, but Dwayne has stolen the seasonings. He then seasons Bubbles and starts cooking him. Ciaran sits in the audience and cheers for Bubbles.

With Bubbles handled, Dwayne goes into the arena and calls for his opponent. A team of turtles wearing headbands come in to challenge Dwayne. They bring a cage with them. They start on all fours and then begin walking like people – the teenage mutant magic turtles have arrived. Alkaid finds an egg that one of the turtles and the displacer beast made and Ciaran gets REALLY EXCITED. Basile sits with Ciaran and reads a book.

Dwayne, Lucy and Bubbles attack the turtles. Dwayne casts Gate and an extremely muscular man bench pressing planets appears. Kord decides to stay and sits down next to Basile and asks what he’s reading. “Have you read the story of Ash Crimson? Can you get me an advanced copy?” Basile says he can probably do that.

Alkaid teleports Rhaegar into the ring, but he instead goes into a room with Death Giants and dies. His anger brings him back as a Kobold. He calls upon Ivuram for power and turns into a white dragon Kobold. He then begins to slaughter the giants.

Dwayne flips turtles over until he is able to escape the cage match and wins.

The egg that Alkaid left with Xylander hatches: A displacer turtle with roc wings is born. He comes up behind Dwayne and uses a metal chair to smash into him. Rheagar returns and asks who the hell is talking with Basile. Basile states that it’s Kord, and Kord runs down and smacks Rhaegar across the room. A roc then swoops in and picks up Rhaegar, who attacks with his feet. The roc drops him.

Kord thinks it’s boring and goes to leave, and Basile asks Kord to tell Ioun “fuck you.” Kord shouts through the gate to Ioun that “this Basile kid says ‘fuck you’ and Dwayne gates in Ioun.

The gate opens and they see Ioun inside a library. She looks at them (and hypothetically, Neebs swoops in with a nat 20 and seduces her.) Dwayne casts Time Stop to go hang out with Ioun for a bit. He cooks her baklava.

Dwayne suddenly realizes that clerics commune with gods through dreams and visions, and understands that he ACTUALLY spoke with Kord and Ioun. He then appears in a meadow all alone. A Cheshire gopher appears near Dwayne and says that he’s hungry. Dwayne gives the Ash Crimson book as food, and Basile immediately feels pain and tells Dwayne “DID YOU FEED A BOOK TO A GOPHER?”

He turns around and sees the white dragon (Alkaid in disguise) and blasts her out of fear. Rhaegar says that he’s the white dragon, and Basile blasts him, too. He walks away quickly as he can’t deal with gods and dragons.

Ciaran, who saw Ioun through the gate, attempts to plane shift to see her. He meets Dwayne and learns that he cooked her baklava. Ciaran decides that he will eat nothing but baklava.

SUDDENLY, everyone is sucked into Alkaid’s dream. Everyone appears in front of The Lair, and Alkaid says that they’re going to raid Marven’s lair. Dwayne says he had a crazy dream, and is glad that they’re awake now. Suddenly, Xylander enters with the “purr”fect entrance to music like Dwayne taught him. He then attacks Dwayne.

The group enters Marven’s lair. Dwayne shoots dice with the fire genasi as golems come out and whoop on Xylander. Basile flies past invisibly. Alkaid shoots them with arrows and teleports them into the chess board. The golems join the black team. Rhaegar and Bubbles are rooks, Ciaran is a knight, Lucy is a bishop, and Basile is a queen. Rhaegar keeps bitching and Alkaid teleports him into a room with death giants.

But then Rhaegar decides he doesn’t want to play anymore and puts everything into a stalemate. The opponents suddenly start moving forward and everyone freaks out but Basile decides to take the initiative and starts taking pawns to try and get the king. However, he’s unable to do so before their king is captured. However, the tie is in the parties favor and they move into the next room.

They see the deck of many things on a table. Dwayne picks up one card and gets cursed. He puts it into the door. Rhaegar gives Ciaran ownership of all of his items before he takes two cards from the deck. He gets bonuses to his stats. Basile and Alkaid give Ciaran all their possessions. Tork becomes Alkaid’s enemy, and Xylander gets to level if he defeats an enemy. Basile draws two cards and is able to receive a truthful answer for a question and the ability to erase one event from history. Basile realizes that he must be dreaming. However, he decides to ask how to become immortal. He erases Lorn dying from a tire iron from history and resurrects him.

They enter the next room and see Marven. He slow breaths them and they start to battle. They all attack and kill him, but Basile isn’t upset because it’s just a dream. They take his money and buy a reincarnation scroll to bring back Marven. Basile reads the scroll and Marven comes back as a Halfling.