D&D: SESSION 36

The story of Neebs and Associates is coming to a close. Let’s see what terrors they are currently facing.

SESSION 36

Players:

  • Ciaran (LVL24) and Basile (LVL26)
  • Alkaid (LVL 25)
  • Kass (LVL 23)
  • Rhaegar (LVL 25)
  • Neebs (LVL25)

The party floats in the void outside of Infernus, as those who were also once part of Neebs and Associates are dragged through the portal by ghostly chains: H’rathen, Dwayne, Stormageddon, Nergal, Skull King, Sbeen, and the alien-like corpse of a changeling who was once Toth.

Marven starts eating the corpse of Pendralar that Dwayne cooks. Sbeen is crying because the last time he saw them he had killed Basile. He sees Basile and starts air-swimming to him, but Basile nopes away from him. H’rathen floats over to the white guy and Ciaran tells him to speak with dead. H’rathen slaps him in the face but the spell doesn’t work. He can’t seem to communicate with anything outside of this plane of existence. He attempts to Plane Shift them away, but it fails. The group asks if the Heart of Mechanus can be used to help, and Pythos explains that if he stops casting magic, Lucifer will find them and kill them.

Deciding they need to find a place to stay, they all head to Ebonfire Keep, smacking into the ground as gravity starts working again. The bodies of the servants are strewn about the castle. The party divide themselves up into rooms where they can rest. Sbeen takes a chain and an axe to create grappling hook. He throws the axe into Pendralar’s side and pulls him in.

Kass studies the world a bit and discerns that those who enter Infernus are able to leave, but Lucifer is trapped. Additionally, there’s no reason for the prison to be locked if Infernus is dead. Neebs says we should go after Lucifer, and Rhaegar says that as long as we make it impossible for the portal to be opened, there’s no need to kill Lucifer. Basile says that Rhaegar should live in a box for the rest of his life since he has the key, and Rhaegar says that suffering of one can protect the planes of existence. Pythos also adds that he isn’t sure how long he can keep their shield on them.

Neebs suggests having the keep fortified so they can have a base while they’re in Infernus. The NPCs help with the fortification.

  • Alkaid starts making arrows. After many failed attempts, she finally makes a perfect set of dragon bone arrows. She also summons sheep, ducks, cows, etc. to shear their wool, harvest down feathers, collect milk, etc. She also finds a room full of cattails to cook.
  • Kass starts weaving clothes and linens for the group with the materials Alkaid collects.
  • Dwayne cooks up Pendralar’s remains and preserves them for several months storage.
  • H’rathen sets up a ward to bring people back to life should they die.
  • Neebs surveys the land from the tallest peak of Ebonfire Keep. He develops 15 secret passages for easy navigation and escape. He also decorates a meeting room with they can all meet and determine their plans of attack.
  • Lorn focuses on magical calculations to try and determine a way out of Infernus. He also helps expand the castle.
  • Rheagar sets up traps and barricades inside the keep in case someone tries to break in.
  • Ciaran and Basile strengthen the supports of the building by casting Mending, Stoneshape, etc.

The group decides they can gate in allies to join them. Basile suggests the Valkeriyes which everyone declines, but they make up a list of people to ask for assistance.

  • The first person Basile messages is Skor, who declines joining them as he is done adventuring. After messaging Torque, Neebs convinces him to expand his hoard and he’s happy to join.
  • Rhaegar uses Basile to speak with Jubair to request her assistance gathering an army. She agrees to find 57 of the City of Brass’ finest warriors to join them.
  • After speaking with Duarph, he states that he’s kind of stuck somewhere but he’d be happy to go through the gate to join them.
  • Basile tells Adajah that they need assistance from the strongest warriors and that they’ve killed Pendralar. Adajah agrees to bring his ten strongest planetars – all hail Bahamut.
  • Even one of the three wizards comes, bringing a decanter of endless water and a dozen mages.
  • After failing to tell a joke, Basile is able to touch Fahrenheit’s heart by explaining their plight and mentions Adajah is helping. Fahrenheit says he hasn’t seen Adajah in millenia and says he’d like to catch up. Basile quickly sends, “and mustard,” which makes him laugh.
  • Alkaid asks the time dragon who helped her return home to join them, and she agreed.
  • Kass asks that Maz and Korpi join, as he hasn’t seen his friends in years. They agree to come and assist.
  • Lastly, Neebs frees Connor McGregor and friends from Dispater to bring them.

Over several days, they continue to send messages and gate their allies in for an army of 111. One of them being Duarph, and he walks in dragging a dead devil. He rips the devil apart, looks around, and states he’s been stuck in Infernus. He says that Shale was killed by Agent of Lucifer, so he clawed his way into Infernus to beat the shit out of the devil who did it, and has been trapped. He also mentions that any souls that die here go to the furnace to power the prison, and he can provide them with schematics on how to escape if they die.

They tell Duarph that they can’t make it into the castle, and the only way in is to have Lucifer’s blessing. Basile shows himself and asks if his marks of being a Scion is enough. Duarph says they might need more. He warns them that there are ten Generals of Lucifer, including a man named Dalamar Argent.

After preparing, the party goes after Dalamar Argent, who is guarding the furnace in the belly of the god. Neebs leads the troops to his fortress. As they drew out Dalamar and his legion, the associates manage to slip through into the fortress. Neebs stands on the balcony and calls out, “Dalamar!” The drow who had flown out a window and summoned three beholders turns around. Neebs then says, “Today is the first day of the last of your life.”

  • Neebs dimension hops behind the beholders and Dalamar, firing an arrow with Polar Ray into the center beholder.
  • Rhaegar lightning throws his epic great sword into the beholder to the left. He then calls upon a new earth elemental, named Cannon Fodder, to join the fight.
  • Dalamar calls back out to Neebs and vows to end him. He snaps his fingers and the furnace starts to crackle as a ball of fire spits out and grow into a massive beholder. The three smaller beholders begin to attack Neebs and Rhaegar with their eye rays. Rhaegar is able to withstand most of its charms, but is slowed. Neebs is able to withstand the magical effects, but takes a ton of damage. The massive beholder in the furnace sends a widened ray of disintegration at Kass and Ciaran, a widened finger of death that hits Alkaid and Rhaegar, and then a twin flesh to stone at Rhaegar. Although they take damage, they are able to stay standing. It then fires off seven more eye rays at Neebs, Ciaran, Kass, Rhaegar, and Cannon Fodder. Kass flees in fear, and Neebs is hit with a Polar Ray.
  • Alkaid fires off five arrows at the beholder Neebs attacked, which split apart and stab in all of its eyes. It dies as its blinded.
  • Basile activates his bond between Ciaran, as he runs over to him. They both then fire off eldritch blasts at the massive beholder, doing 300+ damage.
  • Kass flees from the scene, flying as fast as he can.
  • Neebs casts dimension door and appears 600 feet away from the battle. He fires six arrows at each of the small beholders, but Dalamar casts Solarity to create a Wall of Force to block the arrows. As Dalamar taunts him, Neebs uses his Belt of Battle to shoot six arrows imbued with disintegrate. One of the arrows destroys the wall, and the rest slam into the beholders. They both turn into dust, and one blows in Dalamar’s face.
  • Rhaegar shakes off being slowed, runs up to the final massive beholder, and strikes with his perfect clarity. Cannon Fodder then runs up and misses.
  • The beholder flies out toward Dalamar, sweeps past with its maw wide open, and bites its head off. The tendrils snap into his neck and connect, replacing Dalamar’s head on his body. As one of it’s eye stalks opens, Dalamar’s face replaces the eye. The arms of Dalamar’s body grabs the eye stalks to point them all at Neebs. He’s able to avoid most of the hits, only taking some residual damage from each spell. He then moves back into the furnace to attack everyone else except Kass. He smacks his hands together, unleashing a massive croaking sound. Everyone except Rhaegar turns into a frog.
  • Alkaid studies the beholder with her big, bulbous eyes. She then smacks her tiny green hand against your belt of battle, leaps into the air gracefully, and flicks her tongue at its eye. As the beholder fails his save, it vanishes along with the army. In its place, a black frog with the mark of Lucifer on its back is left.

Neebs vanishes, who is standing inside a small shack on a beautiful beach. On the bar, there’s a picture of his wife and children, and everything has been perfect. He realizes nothing has ever gone wrong in his life. There’s a frog sipping on a pina colada. Every single thing that Neebs ever did has now been Sbeen (who no longer looks like Neebs, but now looks like Doraleous) and we’ve all been Sbeen and Associates.

Alkaid, who is still a frog, turns herself into a bird. She then remembers everything despite the origin strike, and starts freaking out. Basile, who reads her mind, also starts freaking out. Ciaran looks at his little frog hands confused. Sbeen takes his mortal enemy, the frog demon, and eats it. His forehead stars bleeding as the mark is carved into his forehead and a halo of fire.

As Neebs is about to eat Basile, Kass sings “Hello my baby,” and kisses him. The Break Enchantment spells turns him back to normal. He does the same for Ciaran and Alkaid. Basile turns invisible after being naked, and Sbeen says, “oh my god Basile – you have a high charisma.”

They all return to Ebonfire keep. Sbeen opens up his pack and Grunk climbs out, as he is Sbeen’s advisor to guide him. Basile examines the mark of Lucifer on Sbeen’s head and discerns that it’s a curse that is bestowed on the most loyal servants to Lucifer and grants them the ability to see Lucifer. It can be removed, but can’t be returned. Grunk advises that we continue to the Emperor of Pain, located in the heart of the god.

To save on time, we RP the rest of the nine battles against the generals over the course of a year, and see how many times the party dies.

The Emperor of Pain is a massive spider-like creature who utters a death curse upon their arrival. Only Sbeen is affected and instantly dies. Rhaegar throws his sword into the Emperor and pierces him through the chest. As everyone battles, Alkaid turns into a bird and harasses him. Ciaran greases the webbing as Rhaegar slides off his legs. Rhaegar slices off the Emperor’s head with a clean blow and becomes marked. As he denies Lucifer for the third time, Durendal begins to glow with the ability to cast miracle three times a year. He then takes out a jug of ale and slams it back.

There’s then a beautiful jumpcut as Rhaegar falls back drunkenly, then is at the next battle with a sword in his chest as he dies. They face Viscount of Agony, a slender blue humanoid figure with horns and bat wings. The creatures have lacquered hands covered in blood, as they fight upon the hand of the dead god. Sbeen is stepping on bodies before tossing them over the side. He uses Rhaegar’s body as a weapon to smash into people. Kass pulls out his dervish blades and runs into the crowd. As he kills one enemy, a huge spear is impaled right through him. Alkaid dashes over, then separates into four, and gives the deadliest pearl necklace of all time (and the DM didn’t realize it had a gross connotation which traumatized the players). Basile takes it head on, using his own Eldritch Claws to face it. He traps the Viscount’s claws within his own, then rips his arms down and blasts him in the face.

The battle transitions to Basile diving in front of Ciaran to take a dissintegrate spell, and he dissolves into dust. In front of Ciaran are emaciated children wearing bishop hats, holding scepters and rods. Alkaid draws back her bow, accidentally knocks Rhaegar off the edge of the cracked skull of the god, before fighting off shadow creatures. Sbeen jumps off the edge to try and help Rhaegar and dies as well. He falls to his death. Ciaran falls into a rage and grabs Basile’s glaive to cast Smite upon the Page of Bones. Kass starts playing his panflute, the sound much like a tornado siren. Alkaid uses the sound of Kass’s flute to empower her sonic bow.

As she which transitions to slam into a massive ooze, the Matron of Souls, which has rolled over Ciaran. As the child starts drowning, Basile collapses and convulses as he drowns to death. Sbeen and Marven start having a ooze eating contest. Rhaegar accidentally shoots himself in the head with his own crossbow. Alkaid takes out her sunblade and stabs it into the ooze, boiling it alive as Kass sings “Ooze, I didn’t again” by Britney Swords.

The cinematic camera pans down to show the floor is now a massive eyeball. The Seer of Anguish commands erenyes’ to throw spears into Alkaid, piercing her into the pupil. at the Seer, Rhaegar’s mask of trueseeing gets knocked off and he stumbles into Basile’s way and dies. Grunk gives Sbeen a rock that says “Polar Ray” to throw at a beholder. Kass, who has now mastered his dervish blades, dashes forward to duel. He gets close, boops the Seer, and casts Otto’s Irresistible Dance. He starts dancing sad contemporary choreography. They dance a few steps together and then slices two scimitars across the chop off the Seer’s head.

Over the course of the year, more shenanigans happen:

  • Sbeen decides the castle needs to be closer to Infernus, so he throws it until it lodges into the ribs, and he’s left in the void where he eventually starve to death. He eventually dies three more times throughout the year.
  • Rhaegar dies four more times over the year.
  • Basile dies three more times through the year.
    • He’s gored in the stomach during a battle.
    • Bludgeoned to death during a battle.
    • He’s captured by the army of the Princess of Domination, and he kills himself so they can’t keep him prisoner as the scion.
  • Kass dies five more times during the year.
    • He pushed Basile out of the way of danger and takes the hit for him.
    • His wings are ripped off by enemies and he bleeds out.
    • Gets strangled by an enemy
    • “Shot through the heart, and you’re too blame.”
    • Trips and fall into lava (the ground is lava and Kass lost)
  • Marven dies twice and defeats the Satrap of Famine.
  • Lorn dies three times but is able to defeat the Knight of Refuse (The Knight of Shit).
  • Rocky dies six times, and defeats the Baroness of Slaughter.
  • Biff dies six times and defeats the Princess of Domination.

After several months, they find themselves with a day of rest, and they discuss what they plan on doing once they defeat Lucifer. Sbeen states he will have children with Jennifer, and Rhaegar states he would return to the City of Brass. Kass talks with Maz and Korpi to reunite, and the two half-dragons explain that their family had always been subservient to the Ebonfire due to their father’s wishes. Once the Ebonfire were defeated, they were able to escape and travel to discover themselves. Basile has been sending messages to his loved ones back home to stay sane.

 

 

 

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